After my mini meltdown that had Matt staring at me like I had inhaled to much peroxide, the whole team gathered to figure out who would be in each stunt group. I thought I was going to break Reagan’s hand. Ashley and Katie’s stunt groups had been chosen and there was about 6-8 groups left. “And next Jamie, your bases for this season will be...." OMG I can't do this I don't want to hear it “Matt and Briana" "ARGHHH" I screamed as I was lifted up by who could only be Bri. “OMG Jamie boo were together again, remember 2010" " I know, I can't wait to rock this stunt" I laughed, that’s the thing about Bri, She's an amazing person inside and out. But Matt on the other hand I had no idea what I was going to do...
I look to the side and see myself about 4cm away from Matts face, I don't want to sound creepy but his eyes are just perfect, I mean seriously how does someone have such a beautiful shade of blue, like no. "So you are now my flyer and now we get to spend more time together so our friendship doesn't 'fade' like you’re expecting it to right?” The way he said my made my insides go all fluttery, god what am I doing. “Well Matty, maybe I'm cautious as I haven't received one text or call from you since tryouts happened?" “I was spending time with my girlfriend Jamie, I'm allowed to you realise?" “Of course I do Matt, Carly is your number 1 priority but when it all comes crashing down, you'll realise it was nothing but a stupid fling" " Jamie SHUT THE FUCK UP you have no idea what your talking about!" "ME, I HAVE KNOWN YOU YEARS LONGER THAN CARLY AND YOU BARLEY TALK TO ME ANYMORE.... I HATE YOU MATTHEW SMITH"" WELL YOU NO WHAT JAMIE STOP TRYING SO HARD TO BE PERFECT BECAUSE YOU AREN'T!”
When Matt said that I gasped, not realising where we were and who we were in front of. I quietly mumbled “Lets just try this stunt okay", before acting as though nothing had happened, and acting as though I didn't have tears sliding down my face. I spun up into the air, into a right leg heel stretch before tick tocking into a left leg bow and arrow, before being spun once more into a scale then pulling a scorpion and doubling down. We did quite well for a first try as many other stunt groups weren't even getting past the tick tocks. “Great work guys, I feel like this year is our year again" Joe our coach said as he went pass us. I smiled gratefully, if we can hit it now then I'm sure by Worlds and NCA we will dominate the stunt section. During the next couple of hours we started working on our opening tumbling. I had been practising since Worlds and could now do a back whip double which was a huge achievement for me.
I got placed quite well if you ask me, considering the fact we have this new talent and everybody is amazing. By the time we had finished practice I was dead. I could no longer feel my legs or arms from being upside down and up in the air for so long. I know everybody else felt the same. From my corner of the gym I felt someone’s eyes on me, I turn around to see Carly giving me the biggest evil I think she’s ever given me, which I didn't understand seeing as she was a close friend of mine. But me not being in the mood to deal with her mood swings rudely flipped her off and walked out of the gym to my car. I was about to drive off when someone banged on my window, I rolled it down to see Matt looking less than impressed.. Oh shit I thought what did I do this time.
“You know Jamie, I don't know what your problem is but you better fix it because I will not deal with you being rude to my girl friend, she is amazing and doesn't deserve you getting all funny" " Well Matthew tell your girlfriend she doesn't need to worry about anything we you and I are no longer friends, we are in the same stunt group and team and that is all". “Good, got it threw your head Matthew, Bye"
What did I just do, I just threw away 5 years worth of friendship because Matt was happy with someone that wasn't me. I needed Peyton hear, she always knew what to do. “FOR FUCKS SAKE JAMIE WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM" I screamed to myself. I have these stupid possession problems that always get in my way. I called Pey asking her to come and meet me at star bucks they one place I could just chill at. I order a vanilla bean frappe with a pump of raspberry which is my absolute favourite from Starbucks. I see Peyton walk in and wave to her, we start talking while she waits for her order which is a green tea frappe. I told her about all the crap going on with Matt which included our screaming match in front of all Cheetahs, Wildcats and Panthers. As well as the fact he called me a try hard and then I dropped the bombshell that we are no longer friends.
By the end of my story telling, I was a huge mess of tears and self-loathing. Peyton couldn't believe Matt and I had fought like that, she was actually the most logic is saying it was partly my fault, but Matt had a huge part in it as well. I understood where she was coming from and tried to calm down. I never realised how much of a difference having Peyton on my team was, she was my rock when I had my little meltdowns and now she was no longer there, it was heartbreaking. I just had to remember how good it was and focus on positives I guess.
Pey noticed I had zoned out like usual and asked if I wanted to go home. I said it was most likely a good idea and we went our separate ways, but not after our 2 minute hug and handshake. After all of this I felt a little better but still dreaded seeing Matt and practice tomorrow. When I got home I went straight to bed, quickly wiping my face with makeup remover wipes, I decided to quickly check instagram. When I saw Matt had posted a picture I had to see what it was.. It was a picture of Him and Carly and if that happiness of the picture wasn't enough to make me upset again the caption really hit home..
“This girl right hear, seems to be the only one that really gets me, asides from my Mum and Hay. I love her no matter what and would visit somewhere hours away if that meant I got to see her smile brighten up my day. Carly means the world to me and I am happy to say I have the most amazing girlfriend in the world and how much I love her <3"
I really was crying now, I scrolled down to the comments and saw all these mentions about myself asking: " What about Jamie?" “Aren’t you and Jamie best friends" " Jamie is a big deal to you isn't she".... I decided to write on the photo: Not Anymore :) I knew it would cause a stir but I felt the need to say it fuck Matt and his fucking Carlykins... I didn't care anymore, as long as he didn't stuff up Cheetahs for me than I wouldn't care anymore
Thats all for now guys :) I can't believe I actually got views on this. If any of you have any pointers or tips I'd be glad to take them all in :)
