Matt suddenly looked up at me with a nervous, worried look in his eyes. He knew what I was going to say but didn’t want to speak first. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, I looked back up at Matt. Who was waiting for me to say something, anything that would mean this was over. “Matt look, this isn’t working. We have had more fights than anything and you saying what you did about Peyton really hurt me. I’ve never had a problem with you or even had fights with you so often but this isn’t working, I can’t do this anymore and I know you don’t want to”.
I finished speaking to let it all set into Matt’s brain. He had tears in his eyes and I couldn’t bring myself to care anymore. I loved Matt, I honestly did but it wasn’t enough. People say love is worth fighting for but I didn’t see that at all or feel like that was true. I was interrupted out of my thoughts by Matt. “Jamie, please don’t do this, I don’t want to beg but you don’t have to. I’ve just been really stressed and I want you to know that I care about you and with you leaving CA I’ll never see you, do you know what that’s like?”
“MATT YOU’RE NOT THE ONE LEAVING YOUR LIFE BEHIND. YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FRIENDS STILL WHILE I HAVE NOBODY. I DON’T CARE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL I HAVE MORE THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT LIKE FITTING INTO SCHOOL AND CHEER!” I was breathing heavily and couldn’t help but remember when we last had our fight, it was terrible. I felt bad for a long time but know I couldn’t feel like feeling guilty let alone caring. I was done
“I’m breaking up with you Matt, take that how ever you want but when I hop on the plane back to Texas, I won’t be keeping in touch with you either. It’ll hurt to much and I can’t deal with that”. Matt was silent for a while before quickly slamming the door and leaving. I sunk down to the floor and started to sob. I couldn’t wait to go home now. I quickly went into the bathroom and had a quick shower before coming out feeling a bit more refreshed. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a plain t-shirt and hoddie before walking out to join the Smith family for dinner. They had made a lovely lasagne which was amazing, but I then remembered when Matt had said how easy it was for him to lift Peyton, so I slowed down and took smaller bites.
I still had half of my food on my plate by the time I felt full. I politely sat at the table while waiting for everyone to finish off. I was looking at my food longingly when Momma Smith pulled me out of my bubble asking me why I hadn’t finished my food. I told her I wasn’t hungry anymore but how good it tasted. That made her smile and continue her conversation why Papa Smith stared at me with curiosity because he knew how much I loved food and now I wasn’t eating. “Are you feeling okay Jamie?” Papa Smith asked me. “Yeah I’m fine, just not as hungry as usual” I said while smiling at him hoping he would just leave it after that.
Thankfully he did and I relaxed a little bit in my chair while still keeping my guard up. By the time everyone was done I rushed up out of my chair and quickly scraped my plate to the dogs and placed it in the dishwasher. I had to of been quicker then lighting because Matt was looking at me funny, which made me give him this glare that was a sign to leave me alone. I ran back to my room to collect my phone and I did about 50 crunches just to make sure I didn’t lose my abs which would be devastating if they did leave. I came back out with my phone in my hand and made myself comfy on the couch opposite Matt. Matt’s parents looked at us weirdly because I was pretty sure they thought we were still dating, so when Matt realised this he came and cuddled up to me on my couch which made me feel like crying.
I could tell Matt was crying because I felt the tear’s on the back of my neck. I wanted so badly to snuggle into his arms but I told myself it wouldn’t work out. Matt and I couldn’t be together all we did was fight and soon we would never see each other. We’d both be competing against our gym’s and I’d be competing against Matt’s ex girlfriend and RYAN, which made me really sad. We continued watching the T.V show that was on Dance Moms I believe in each other arms. I kept thinking about how much I’d miss this and how much I’d miss him, but it was all about sacrifices.
Fast-forward a week
I couldn’t believe how fast time had gone by. I was boarding the plane to Louisville now and I couldn’t stop thinking about Matt. He had kissed me before I left and I had clung onto him with dear life. I had whispered I love you and he had said it back, and I could tell he meant it. He told me how he’d text me when I landed and how everything would work out before handing me a package. I hadn’t opened it yet and sitting back in my seat I felt the need to unwrap it.
On the inside was a blue box and once that was opened there was a blanket folded up neatly with a card. I quickly read the card and was bought to tears already. When I took out the blanket I couldn’t get over it. It was Matt’s special blanket that he had first bought to Worlds with him, it meant a lot to him and I couldn’t believe he’d given it to me. The next thing was a photo frame. I turned it around to see a picture of Matt and I kissing in his backyard. I had no idea who had taken it but it was perfect. It made me wish I wasn’t leaving and that I hadn’t of told him we were over.
I felt like I’d done the right thing but I really didn’t know anymore. Everything was weighing on me now. I’d realised I hadn’t said good bye to my team or Peyton or Blake or anyone; I’d just left Mom and Dad to do all the work. I felt bad but in the end I was starting a new life and I couldn’t wait. My new coach James was going to help me get over my mental block and that was something I was looking forward to. James was an amazing coach and was very well known for his amazing routines including the tumbling side and stunt side. As well as those fierce dances and the beautiful unis, I knew I was going to like it at GymTyme, and I might even get a scholarship to Louisville University if we end up staying for long enough.
The time flew by and I had landed in Kentucky. My new home, my new life, my new everything was hear right in front of me. I ran to the boarding lounge and jumped into my dads arms as soon as I saw him. I had missed him so much and I had confined in everything that had happened while I’d been away. He told me all about the house and how my room as been set up, it was just up to me to move the furniture around and put all my things in draw’s and everything. I also got given my Summer Cheer schedule. I saw that I had my first practice tonight and instantly felt nervous and excited. This was going to be great I could feel it.
By the time I had finished my room and decorated it so it had that big pop of “THIS IS JAMIES ROOM” I had two hours before cheer. Dad told me I had to go early so I quickly put on my new GymTyme sports bra and matching spankies as well as my hair in a high ponytail without a poof or teasing and put in a red bow that I had found in one of my boxes. As soon as I was ready I ran down to meet dad in the car and we were off. Dad explained how James wanted me to arrive earlier so I could start working on getting rid of my mental block, which I was grateful for. When I arrived at GymTyme I felt amazed. The gym was amazing and clean on the outside as well as an amazing facility on the inside. Their 13 Worlds banners were hanging up and made me feel privileged, this was an amazing opportunity. I met James and had a small chat before we started to work on getting my back tuck back.
In thirty minutes I had finally gotten my back tuck, back handspring to full and nearly had my standing full again. I couldn’t believe it; I had spent days at CA trying to get a back handspring and had gotten all of that plus nearly my standing full in a matter of 30 minutes. By the end of the two hours I had gotten my standing full and had been working on achieving my double which was coming along nicely. I was excited now. It was time for me to meet my new teammates.
Would they like me? Am I good enough? Hopefully I’m not to fake? My hair’s not as blond anymore so that’s good right?
I pushed open the doors to the meeting room to meet my new team and hopefully future 2014 World Champions…
The picture on the side is not Jamie it is Kelsey Rule but I'm using it to show you what Jamie's new hair looks like. Its more natural then her bleached hair and I think would suit her better. I'm kinda losing inpisration to write this story so if you like it please comment because they motivate me to write faster xx
