Friendzoned

29.

Madison's pov:

"Ahh I missed America" Liam said
"I didn't" I said and left my suitcase one the hotel bed.
"Come ooon put a smile on" Liam said and put his suitcase on the bed too.
"I'm tired,it's hard to smile" I said
"Are you coming at Ellen tommorow?" He asked
"Yeah I wanna take some photos" I said.I took my pajamas out of my suitcase and wore them so I could finally sleep.
"Good,you can practise" He said
"Yeah" I said
"What's wrong?" He asked and caressed my cheek
"Nothing" I said
"I understand if you don't want to talk about it" He said
"I said it's nothing.I just want to sleep" And never wake up again

"Okay.Goodnight angel"
"Night Li" I said and drifted to sleep.The only thing I want these days is the night to come so I can sleep and not think of the future.I don't want to leave this all behind but it will be good for me,to forget about some things for a while.I'm just scared that everything will change and I will too...
---next day---
I woke up first around 7:00am,unable to sleep more,but I didn't feel tired.I actually felt kind of refreshed after I showered too.I had a clear mind and decided to focus on my projects and the portfolio I was making so I could have a sample of my photography skills for college.

The boys had to be at Ellen at around 15:30am to start rehearsing,so there was still plenty of time to just sit around and do nothing.But I do wanted to do something so I decided to go somewhere around the town to take some pictures.It was a bit chilly so I wore a pair of black skinny jeans with ripped knees,a white t shirt with a leather jacket and some combat boots.I didn't want to wake Liam up,he was so cute sleeping,I just took a pic of him with my camera,smiled,kissed him on the cheek and left to explore.
I wore the camera's strap around my neck to hold it and took my purse too.

I started walking around the city streets and taking photos of some big buildings.The architecture of some was really new and creative which I loved.I decided to walk to the nearby park and explore it.I put my headphones on and put 'AM' from MITAM playing,letting myself drift away from reality and focus on nature.The trees,which had autumn colors now.Orange,brown,yellow and a little bit of green were taking over and the aura made you feel some kind of relieved.The vintage benches were full with happy faces,enjoying their mornings.Little kids were at the playground and their little laughs were all over the place.It was a Saturday,no one had school.

I was impressed by how early people were awake and how happy they were.We had world crisis but everyone was living each moment as best as they could.
The shop owners had already opened their stores and more cars began driving.
I remember the little trips we had,either alone as a family,my dad,my mum,my sister and I or both Harry's family and my family together.Just going at lakes,parks,cities,extraordinary places that we've always dreamt of going.The imagination we had as kids was incredible,but those places were common for us these days.We entered the real world.Dissapointing and desperate some times but encouraging and hopeful some other times.That was life and it was our choice to live and exist.

Their choice.Not my choice.Life qas just not for me.I can't put up with what I'm dealing with from when I was born,to this day.But I didn't want to dissapoint even more.I had to prove them wrong,that I was strong and I was going to build a steady life.
That was me afterall.I was born depressed.I always showed my funny and happy side to other people,but there is always a dark side of everyone.My dark side was taking over 80% of my personality when I was 16-17 years old.I did reduce it after a while but I feel like it's hapening again.Slowly and painfully.Everyone says,after something really bad happens,life will become better.

But when would that time come?I was sick of waiting for it.I just learned to not care.Not anymore.
My phone started buzzing and I haven't realised it's been two hours since I'm out here.It was 09:45am and Liam was calling me.Guess he woke up.
"Goodmorning" I answered
"Goodmorning.Um where are you?" He said with a rasty voice.
"I got out for a walk.Ended up being at the park for two hours" I said
"That's nice.Can you come back?I want a hug" He said.That morning voice mama mia.
"Yeah sure,be back in five baby" I said
"Okay byee love you angel" He said
"Bye Li" I laughed and ended the phone call.