Misunderstood

chapter eighteen: love hurts

"I don't think I'm gonna make it Taylor.." he says looking away.
"Look at me. What do you mean you're not gonna make it Austin?.."
"They said it was severe. It could happen again at any moment and when it does.. I'm de-"
"Don't you dare say that.. don't."
"It's reality Taylor.. even though I don't want to go. I dont want to leave you on this world without me.. I don't want to die." His voice cracks.
I need to tell him about what happened yesterday. It hurts but he needs to know. I love him. I made a mistake. I did.
"Listen Austin. You know that I love you so much right ?" He nods.
"I have something to tell you.."
"What is it Taylor?"
I start to tear up. I tried so hard to hold my tears in but I can't.
"I um. I cheated on you Austin. Last night I was at this house party and I got really drunk and I did something with this guy and.." I sob.
"With who?" He starts to tear.
I just want his hurt to stop.
"A-Alan.."
He looks at me with deceit.
".. why would you- how could you even.." he stutters trying to get the words out.
"Austin I know. What I did was wrong and it was a drunk mistake. It should of never happened-"
He cuts me off and gets louder.
"Why would you do that Taylor?! My best friend?!"
"Calm down I'm sorry please. This hurts me." At this point I'm breathing in and out hard and crying so much.
He rips off the wires attached to his body and stands up.
I step back afraid.. I'm not sure why.
"What did you guys do?!" He's crying out.
"We kissed and.. I'm pretty sure it wasn't intercourse.." I wipe my eyes.
"Pretty sure?"
"No I'm sure it wasn't!"
"I can't even look at you!" He looks away them back at me.
"You disgust me! You broke my heart.i trusted you so much and you do this! I don't want anything to do with yo-"
"Do NOT say that! Don't say those words please Austin. I can't live without you!" I cry.
"you're gonna live without me either way.." he whispers crying.
"Please." I go up to him and wrap my arms around his neck.
"No!" He steps away, I stumble back a bit.
"Austin! Forgive me!" I cover my face.
"Leave! Everything people has said about you was true! You are a whore!" Those words echo through my head. What my uncle Stan said, what my old managers said. Whore. Whore. Whore.
I look at him in shock as a year streams down my face.
"I know what I did was wrong." My voice cracks.
"But everyone makes mistakes and what you just said.. it hurt me more than when anyone else has said it.. I-"
I can't even finish my sentence. I head out the door.
"Taylor I didn't mean it.. I-"
I turn to look at him.
"I love you Austin. I love you so much. I love you more than I love myself. And that's never good but I do." I wipe my eyes and walk out.

Austin Carlile P.O.V.

I see her leaving the room. The door slams. I sit down crying in my hands. I love this girl all my heart. I need her. She was drunk. I can't live on the past. I have to give her a chance. She's never done anything bad.
I run out of the room and look around for her. The nurses try to grab me.
"No!" I take out my cell phone and call Taylor. It rings then she picks up.
"Yeah.." she says in a low voice.
"I love you. I love you more than the world Taylor. Where are you?!"
"Bathroom.. in the hospital." She hangs up. I rip myself away from the nurses and doctors. I run to the first floor bathroom, look in all the stalls. Nobody in here. I run up to the second floor bathroom. And there I see it.. Taylor. Blood surrounding her wrists where she sits.
I scream.
"Taylor!" I get on my knees next to her. The wounds are deep. I see the scissor in her hand. She looks up at me weakly and gives me a smile.
"I love you. You see?" Her eyes close and don't open back up.
"Taylor! Wake up Taylor. Wake up. Don't you do this to me." I kiss her soft skin. The door burst open. It's a few doctors. They look in shock. A guy picks me up and grabs me.
They take me out of the bathroom and focus on Taylor.