That Summer (Completed)

Chapter 18

Warning: This chapter contains a scene that may be triggering for some people.

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It was the morning of the trip. While everyone was packing up the car to make the six-hour drive to the beach house, I realized I had made a huge mistake.

Scratch that. A colossal mistake.

What the hell was I going to do tonight, when I was going to be stuck in a car with Jake, all alone might I add, for six fucking hours. What were we going to talk about? The weather? How the hell was I supposed to make small talk without having a full blown panic attack. Just thinking about it was making stomach clench. I stood outside the car making a list of ways I could fight or flight.

Mom came up behind me, making me jump.

Jeez, I was a tightly wound ball of nerves.

"Hey honey, we're going to head out in a few minutes, you'll be fine right?" Mom asked, searching my face. She was probably wondering why I looked like I just lost my life preserver.

I willed myself to calm down. "Yeah, of course. I'm going to finish up some packing and leave for the appointment with my guidance counsellor."

"Alright," Mom said, squeezing my hand. "Can you do me a favour?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I was supposed go to Jake's office and give him a folder for his presentation this evening," she said, handing me a black leather portfolio. "He wanted me to look it over it before returning it. It completely slipped my mind. Could you run it there after your meeting?"

I sighed internally, I was never going to be able to have a moment of peace with him around. "Yeah sure."

Before I went to my appointment, I decided to stop for coffee at the local cafe. I was going to need a lot of energy to get through today, I could feel it. Hopefully my lack of sleep last night meant I would knock out once we hit the road.

I walked in and got in line. As I was rummaging in my purse for my wallet, I felt someone staring at me. I looked up and saw Michael's uncle standing by his truck. He didn't bother looking away, which made the hairs on the back of my neck rise.

I quickly looked away and saw Jake standing at the counter, ordering his coffee. I didn't know why I was surprised, this was Jake's go to spot every morning. I was about to call out to him, when someone slipped their arms around me from behind.

My body became rigid, knowing exactly who it was. I turned around stepped back, looking angrily at Michael.

"Don't."

"Lauren, listen, can we please just talk for a minute?" he asked pleadingly. I looked at his face and felt my eyes sting. All the nasty things he'd said came rushing back to me. I was not going to cry, no way. I was not going to give the satisfaction of having any sort of affect on me.

He pulled me in and I stood there stiffly as he leaned in close to my ear and apologized for all the things that couldn't be unsaid. I pushed against his chest and he loosened his arms around me.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. I saw Jake walk out the door without a glance my way. Now I really wanted to cry. I couldn't shake the feeling of being unwanted no matter how hard I tried. It was like everything was coming down at once, crushing me. First Dad, then Michael, the Stanford rejection, the endless exams, Miranda's uncaring attitude, Jake getting colder by the day again. I felt like a sinking boat in the middle of the ocean. I felt exhausted.

"I can't do this Michael," I said, my voice drained. "I really liked you but I can't go back and pretend that there wasn't a time when that's what you thought of me. I don't care that you weren't sober or whatever, I just can't."