Becoming

1| apatite

"however i struggle, however i pray, my claws and fangs won't go away"

-the wolf that fell in love with red riding hood, kagamine rin and len (cover by sirhamnet)

It wasn't a friendship, nor a commitment of any kind. It was just something that happened.

Warning, tension, build-up - those were added in movies to make things out to be more dramatic than they were. In real life, these didn't exist most of the time. When something happened, it just did. There was no ceremony about it, no dragging out of the event. It just happened, and then it was over.

And while Asher Miller was something of a hero in the eyes of my schoolmates, this rule didn't change for him.

===

Whenever I felt alone, before I had the comfort of the orphanage, I always hid out in an empty classroom after school. There was something soothing about how everything was quiet, devoid of any of the usual noise that accompanied a class. It let me think, even if I left feeling decidedly more lonely than usual.

It helped that I could escape the mess that was my house for just a while longer.

At least, in the stillness, I didn't have to worry about my image.

I could be myself, even if I wasn't sure who 'myself' was.

"Wow, I didn't expect to find anyone here."

I jumped, whipping around sharply to face the door. I must have looked ridiculous with my face contorted in a practised snarl, when it was evident that I was in no danger.

"Whoa, relax, I'm not going to do anything," Asher Miller laughed, running a hand through his hair as he closed the door. "I was just surprised to see you, that's all. I thought no one else would be here at this hour."

"Yeah, well, you thought wrong," I bit back, slightly taken aback when he looked amused rather than afraid. I was feared throughout the school, and a reaction other than terror was unusual. It wasn't as if my reputation wasn't well-known.

"I guess so," he shrugged, before settling into the seat beside me. I eyed him warily.

"Why are you still here?" Asher looked momentarily surprised, before his expression morphed into one of amusement again.

"Well, it's not illegal," he quipped. "Besides, it's interesting to see you without your usual gang."

"No, I mean, why are you not running away?" I ignored the pang in my chest as I spoke. It was the truth, after all. "Everyone wants to keep a ten-mile radius from me."

"I don't see any reason to run. You're not a monster or anything- you're just human. Like the rest of us."

===

Turning up to classroom 4B became something of an unconscious habit for us. If we needed the honesty of another's opinion, needed a listening ear, or even simple companionship, we went to the classroom after school. Sometimes, I didn't turn up, and sometimes, I waited in the classroom for an hour or two before leaving. It wasn't a commitment, and we both knew it even without actually saying it. It was just something we did, even if we barely acknowledged each other outside of the dusty classroom.

"My love for you is like pi, never-ending."

"And my love for you is like a chivalrous guy, non-existent." I replied without missing a beat. "Shut up, I'm not in the mood for your terrible math pick-up lines."