Becoming

3| topaz

"do you know how hard i've tried to become who you want me to be?"

-scars, allison iraheta

"So, what's the deal with you and Asher?"

It was phrased as a casual question, but I could hear the underlying threat and it seemed that the rest of the group heard as well. Eugenia and Katrina immediately engaged the boys in conversation, raising their voices deliberately, while Irene pretended to be engrossed in her phone. All of them were on alert, ready to intervene if anything happened.

They weren't doing it out of any sense of loyalty to me, no. They were doing it because they knew that Georgia would shred me to a pulp the moment I made a wrong step and they wanted to be there to prove that they were on her side, not mine.

It was human nature after all - we defected to the ones who held the most authority. Even if they didn't abide by that 'rule', they would choose Georgia anyway. They would always choose Georgia, because what I had done would forever remain as something unforgivable.

"Nothing," I replied honestly, pushing my food around on my plate. "We're not even friends."

It was true, whether Georgia chose to believe or not. There was nothing between Asher and me. No matter what deluded ideas Asher had about whatever our relationship could be classified as, to me we weren't friends. We were just schoolmates, acquaintances at most.

"Really," Georgia crossed her arms, lips pursed. "It didn't seem like nothing yesterday when he dragged you into a classroom - an empty classroom, might I add - and locked the door."

She exhaled slowly, almost languidly, the way a lion would while observing its trapped prey.

"Why don't you try again," she smiled, though her eyes were cold. "Come on, spill the deets."

To any bystander who didn't know Georgia, it would've seemed like she was just another persistent friend trying to wheedle out information on my latest hook-up. But to us, those who did somewhat know Georgia in our own twisted way, we knew to back up before everything went up in smoke.

Despite that, I wasn't a weakling. I wasn't a pushover, not anymore. If Georgia wanted to attack me, I would gladly fight back. I wasn't willing to, but I would. Asserting my authority was my only way to regain some control not only on my surroundings, but on myself.

"Georgia," I summoned every ounce of authority I had and fixed her with a hard glare. "Stop pushing this subject. I said that there's nothing between us, and there will never be anything between us. Watch yourself."

She glared back defiantly, eyes glinting dangerously, before turning away and striking up a conversation with Chase Holten. It was as if nothing had happened, with the way she was smiling and laughing.

Remarkable, the way high school taught us to swap faces as easily as breathing.

"I have to say, you handled that really well," Katrina commented cheerfully. Even without turning, I could tell that she was smiling, bubbly as always. "Most people would cower before Georgia's almighty rage."

"I would feel offended that you lump me in the category 'most people'," I said dryly. "But then I remember that your opinion is as valuable to me as dog excretion."

"You're interesting, Felicity," Katrina's voice lost its humour. "You pretend to be so prim and proper when we know that you're not."

"Shut up."