I vigorously turned away, wiped my tears and sat back up straight. The situation seemed fine but I know it wasn't.
"Have you been crying?" Jungkook asked.
"It's none of your business so why don't you just go back to treating me like a piece of sh*t?" I asked back. His eyes widened a bit but soon it was wiped away with another smirk.
"Now now no need for this, I'm just trying to help you," Jungkook stated.
H-h-help? That's pathetic. No one has ever helped me. When I beg for help everyone just stares at me with soulless eyes and either walks away or leads to no good. There's no point in me asking for help anymore. I can't take it, I can't trust it, I don't need it and I won't take it. When was the last time someone helped me? I don't even remember when, so much so that the word 'help' is not in my vocabulary. Faintly, I could hear distant but close words.
Are you there?
Hello
What happened
I want to know
Excuse me
What are you think about
Seriously talk its kind of getting creepy
Hello
Knock knock
Hello
From the other side
I'm sorry I had to
I must've called a thousand times
"Okay shut up, my mum treats me like a piece of sh*t just like you so why don't you just do me a favor and get out of my life?!" I accidentally blurted out.
Immediately I looked away and mentally slapped myself. Get ready for a hell hole based life now minjoo..
"lol I guess I'm sorry?"
"I hope we can be friends from now on," he said with a hopeful tone.
No No No No No
This can't be happening. I won't let it. I can't let it. I don't want it. Please, stop. Just stop. I can't be betrayed again.
"I-"
Luckily Jungkook got interrupted by the bell, without letting him finish I pushed him out of the way to run to my next class maths.
I had a maths midterm test today. I looked down to my hands. The blisters that formed yesterday were slowly starting to dry up and peel away.
Flash back to yesterday night
After I finished crying, I dragged myself over to my desk. Not caring how much noise I made. I don't have a dorm mate. Well I used to but she left ever since she back stabbed me.. I started studying for the maths midterm. Every question, I raced through to increase my speed. I checked my answers and a few were wrong.
It can't be like this. I can't lose again. I started redoing the questions. When I was done, I check the time, 10:30 pm it read.
With the amount of time I had left, I started doing extension questions. When I did not understand a question, I would pull my hair till I realised how to do then. When I got a question wrong I would curse at myself till I got it right again. When I got distracted I would picture my mother infront of me. It haunted me.
I must study more, I need to study more, I want anymore pain marks from my mum. Interrupting my thoughts, I felt a warm liquid rolling down my face. They weren't tears, it was blood. I had a nose bleed.
I was never able to sleep well because I was scared.
I'm scared of failing
I'm scared of being betrayed
I'm scared of being spanked again
I'm scared of my own family
I'm scared of trusting again
End of flashback
My stationery was all laid out and the paper was perfectly laid in front of me. The trembling of my hands came back, I'm not ready, I need more time, more study. Then I felt something being thrown at my head. I swiftly turn around to find a small, crumpled piece of paper, I picked it up and it read
Hwaiting - Jungkook
Confused, I look over at him and he gave me a smile. I don't understand, how can someone change so fast. Is he really trying to befriend me?
"You have 80 minutes to complete the test and you may now begin the test."
After the test
I started to head back to rooftop. Nervously, I bit my lip hard. My fingers were unstable and my mind was racing around with thoughts
What if I don't get 100%?
What if I'm not good enough?
What if I get another call from her?
What do I do?
"Yea, apparently her parents treat her like sh*t I can't believe she told me though."
"Looks like it's time to have some fun." Two familiar voices said to one another in a distance.
_
Sorry for any grammar mistakes and thanks for reading :)
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i'm sorry | jungkook
Hayran Kurgu"my life was bad enough already and you just had to come in and make things worse." he could feel a splash of guilt slap across his face. "I-I'm sorry." [includes : depression] start: 25th nov 2015 completed: 29th dec 2015
