VII

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Well, I may as well say this
If you listen I know you care
A debt, I cannot repay this
Until I am sure you are there

I cannot see the stars
For the deep darkness between
No Mercury, no Venus, no Mars
Too focused on a single queen

She intimidates, she cries, she screams
I have to help her when she falls
I'm telling you how dominant she seems
How I answered her every call

Nobody saw what I was obeying
She sits here, deep inside
I struggle as I am conveying
Where and how she seems to reside

I feed her, I have no choice
She grows ever larger, ever faster
She rids my emotions of their voice
Turns my complexion to sickly alabaster

Tears turn to dust upon my face
My eyes close and I see hers
A crippling darkness I cannot replace
Ruler of the demonic connoisseurs

I turn the light out, and lay on my bed
My eyes open against the blank ceiling
Cracks run little rivulets instead
Of the pain that I should be feeling
I'm writing on the inside of my skull
I should be but I am not healing.
Winter 2015

looking back my creative subconscious knew more about my problems than I did.

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