Perfect.

rainy day

What went through the first person who self harmed's head? Was it the same thing that goes through mine? I wonder....

I got home and the house was empty.

"Mom?" I called a few times. I opened her bedroom door to see if she was in there. No luck.

That meant the house to myself.

May sound strange to you, but being alone was something I enjoyed.

So, just how would I spend this time alone?

Go on a binge/purge?

Not in the mood.

Cut?

Not right now.

Ah, I had an idea.

I went to my room, and layed on the floor. Under my bed was a shoe box I'd hidden.

I grabbed it, and opened the lid.

Inside, were three joints I'd stashed for a rainy day.

I grabbed one, along with a lighter, and closed the box, stuffing it back under my bed.

I went to my window. There were three layers to the thing. First, a layer of glass. I opened it. An empty space about 5 inches, then another glass. I opened that. Now, the tricky part. The screen. I popped out the top and pulled it inwards. Getting it out was easy, if you knew how to avoid getting your fingers pinched. Putting it back was the hard part.

Now that my window was open, so as not to smell up the house, I lit the blunt.

I took a drag, and the effects were almost immediate. A smile crept onto my face and I burst into a fit of laughter. When I'd calmed down a little, I took another drag. I tried to make smoke rings, and failed.

More laughter.

I smoked half of the thing.

When I was done, I sat on my bed giggling at nothing for ten minutes.

Then I texted my mom.

'goin out with firends. Dont wait up' I said. It was Friday. Might as well have fun.

I got up and changed into a denim skirt and black top with chain sewn into the collar and arm holes. I put on my black leather combat boots and off I went.