The Unmatchable Match

~ Chapter 24 ~

(Unedited)

How do you know when you like someone? Is it because how nervous you get when he comes around making butterflies appear on your stomach, or is it because after spending a few minutes with that person you can't seem to be able of getting rid of the smile on your face, is it because he seems to be the background topic inside your mind or just because when he is around nothing else matters, and you think of all the ways you can find an opportunity to be with him.

These are the questions that have been rounding my head for a while.

All those feelings where the ones that I used to feel whenever Jake was around, but now I can't seem to feel the same, at least not with him; I'm trying, I really am. But is it enough wanting to like someone or allowing your feelings to come natural. If I force them are they ever going to be true and honest or am I just going to fool myself and confuse my heart?

I've had a crush for Jake for so much time I can't understand why I'm not feeling like that anymore, or maybe I just don't want to understand because liking Blake would be even more frustrating and confusing, not to mention he might not even like me back and break my heart.

The night when Blake stayed with me at home until my mom came he acted normal even after his words towards me, which were only we are friends but if you think about it it might have a deeper meaning, but I couldn't every time I looked at him I would blush remembering his words and how close we were, and at that moment I understood I can't choose who to like I kept repeating his flaws in my mind but that didn't work because each time his eyes looked at mine I lost myself again.

After thinking about what I should do, and how I feel for a long time I came to a conclusion, or well a series of conclusions.

a) I finally admit I like Blake. Yes Carrie has a little crush for her enemy.

b) I no longer like Jake. Which is sad considering how much time I spent dreaming of us as a couple, and he is finally paying attention to me.

c) Blake and I are enemies so a relationship between us seems impossible for two reasons.

A) He most likely hates me B) I will never willingly admit I have become one of his fans, well not exactly fan because I still fight him in everything I can.

With those thoughts in mind I found new resolutions, which makes me think New Year should've come faster we all need to make resolutions earlier. Anyway hopefully my new found resolutions are going to make my life get back in track.

Resolutions:

1. Stop wasting your time thinking about what if's, what if I tell Blake? What if I say yes to Jake? What if......? . These are the worst ones because they constantly make me think that if I say I don't want anything with Jake I might be missing something, because come on there has to be a reason I had a crush for him for over two years.

2. If you are not sure about Jake then don't lead him on, I'm not saying send him to Jupiter and telling him to get lost but to see if you are really going somewhere with him.

3. Stop thinking about Blake! This one is the most important one. I know you can't chose who you like, but I can choose if I follow what I feel, so I just won't. I will ignore it until I is gone and then I can finally find someone to have my happily ever until lasts.

"Hey Carrie, are you listening to us?" GG asked from her seat at the councilor's room; after almost four months of us coming inside of this office almost every week I've gotten accustomed to her attitude and Mr.grumpy's one.

"Um.. No sorry I might have just spaced out for a moment" I sent an apologetic smile "what where you saying?"

Mr. Grumpy groaned "ugh. Can't you ever listen for more than a minute! I swear a whale has more concentration than you. Anyway we were talking about you're next task, we haven't given you ne in a long time, letting you two on your own. So now we are going to assign you another one"