Make Me Better

Chapter 6

"Your not getting away with this" He hissed. He was between my legs, his muscles bulging looking like some sort of body builder, his voice distorted and eyes a demonic blood-red. My heart was pounding as I struggled to push him off me, he growled evilly almost animalistic. "No, please...please no" I whimpered. He pinned me down with unusually long claws digging into my wrist. I could feel his nails digging into my skin, it stung making me wince in pain. I felt the familiar warm tears well up in my eyes as I struggled to get free. He smirked showing sharp fangs replacing his teeth as he lifted his hand up showing his animal-like claws and tearing my shirt into shreds. "No, stop!"I cried, using my free hand to hit him. His large hands went up to my neck wrapping his hand around and squeezing tightly; I could feel his clothes drawing blood. Everything got blurry, I felt like I was fading out of consciousness and darkness started to swallow me.
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I shot up straight in bed breathing rapidly covered in sweat as my eyes darted around the warm trying to convince myself that it was just a bad dream. The room was dark making it difficult to see around the room but the sound a soft breathing caught my attention. I turned looking to my right side seeing Cat sleeping; her face calm and relaxed. I finally got my breathing to stabilize, I laid back down closing my eyes and sighed in relief. My stomach twisted, I rested my hands one on top of the other and took another deep breath. I rolled over on my side facing Cat, I placed my hand on her forearm and moved closer to her. I was close enough to feel her body heat, I reached over to her and caressed her cheek. My dreams were getting worse each time he was portrayed more like a beast. In all the dreams I could hear and feel him but he would always look different as if he constantly went through continuous changes. "Are you ok, babe?" Asked Cat, sounding fuddled as she rubbed her eyes. I gasped slightly surprised that she woke up and moved away from her a little bit. "Bad dream" I answered, looking away from her. Cat stretched as she yawned, "I could feel you tossing and turning". I shrugged not really trying to engage in coversation; tomorrow would be the first session of therapy so I wasn't looking forward to conversation. "If your scared I can hold you" She informed. There wasn't a more safe place I desired to be than in her warm embrace but I couldn't get myself to crawl into her and cuddle against her like I use to. The things I once did felt stranger now like foreign; something I wouldn't desire to do anymore. "I'll get up and make you a hot cocoa" chimed Cat, about to get out of bed. I grabbed her wrist shaking my head, "It's okay...I-I'm pretty tired" I murmured. She laid back down rolling over on her side coming face to face with me and our eyes locked. I felt as if she was searching for something, maybe hope or just anything that screamed apart of the me I was before was still left; no matter how small. Her eyes saddened and I just figured because she could see the last bit of whatever I was holding on to had died. "I wonder what's going on in your mind" stated Cat. Chaotic, that was the only way I could think of describing everything that went on in my head. "It's like when we first started hanging out how you'd block me out of everything...it's like I'm gaining your trust all over again" she announced. I just looked up at her, she couldn't understand how wrong she was; I wasn't blocking her out and she wasn't working to gain my trust. I'm trying to pull myself back together, grab a hold on the chaos I call my life and put it in some sort of order; To heal. Honestly, I felt insulted like Cat was only feeling bad for herself because she wasn't illustrated into every painful detail of what I had scrambling around in my broken mind. "You know, Cataleya...I'm sorry I don't want to constantly inform you of every damn detail of what I'm going through. I want to keep it to myself...it might not be healthy or whatever you want to say but...I don't need you screwing with my head every day like I'm some type of mental patient" I hissed, glaring at her. Even with the faint lightening I could see the flash of pain in her eyes as I said what I said and she looked sad. Cat nodded rolling over and turning her back to me, "I'm sorry". I felt terrible but I didn't mean to lash out at her; I reached my hand out resting it against her back and moved closer. I cuddled closer to her, pressing my forehead against her back and wrapping my arms around her from behind. I felt her place one of her hands over mine and pulled me closer. "I-I'm sorry, Cat...I just...I don't know what to do. It's like everything is falling apart and I can't grasp it...I'm trying but...I don't know" I whispered, nuzzling into her back. "That's why you need help, Ana...it's what's best for you" she responded. We laid close together in silence after that, I could feel the rise and fall of her breathing. I inhaled deeply smelling the sweet cologne scent from her tshirt as I closed my eyes and hopped for at least one night of a peaceful sleep.