Make Me Better

Chapter 3

I've been avoiding Cat and Krystal for three weeks. They've been coming over knocking, calling and texting. I couldn't face them; I could barely face myself after what Jordan did to me. I got the locks changed a few days ago when I had the strength to force myself out of the house to get it done and I've been getting text from Krystal asking why. I read them but I never reply I guess because I'm at a shortage of words or maybe I'm just scared of saying anything. The bruises were still visible, the swelling around my eyes went down a lot but the dark bruise was still lingering. My bottom lip had a significant scar, barely visible were the marks around my neck from him choking me and the bruise around my wrist. If I took my shirt off you could see clearly the bruises all over my body and if I was to remove my pants you could see the bruising on my thighs. I took my vacation days from work just so I wouldn't risk running into Cat or Krystal and just stayed home. I laid on the couch watching TV, I sighed feeling my stomach growl. "Let's go eat, Bear" I said, sitting up. He barked running from my bedroom, I slid my house shoes on picking him up and grabbing my purse with my keys off the coffee table. I walked out of my apartment cautiously; looking both ways before stepping out and locking my apartment door. I walked quickly to the parking garage so I can get in my car and leave before anyone notices me. "Anaya!" Called a familiar voice. I jumped, gasping and walked a little faster hearing the footsteps pick up pace behind me. "Anaya, wait" said the voice. I felt a hand grab my shoulder and screamed; Bear barked loudly and alarmingly. "Oh my God...W-What has he done to you? Oh my God, Anaya" whimpered Krystal, using her hand to cover her mouth. "Nothing" I replied, quickly looking down. "This is why you've been hiding...I know it was him, Ana. Cat called me the day you told her to leave...she sat at my house for hours waiting for you to call. What happened?" She urged. I unlocked my car, I turned putting Bear in the car and rolling the window down. "Ana, talk to me please what's been going on?" Asked Krystal, her eyes saddened. I shook my head, "I gotta go". Krystal's eyes welled up with tears, she sniffed and I sighed. "Don't block me out, Ana, please" She whimpered. I felt warm arms wrap around me I gasped frightened at first but relaxed and felt warm tears run down my cheeks. I was crying without meaning to then my legs gave out but Krystal was holding me and I turned to her hiding my face in his shirt crying. Krystal took my keys, getting Bear out the car and locked the car. She held my hand leading me to my apartment and Bear ran behind us. Krystal handed me the keys, I unlocked the door and we went inside. I sat on the couch crying, Krystal sighed kneeling in front of me and caressed my cheek. "What's wrong? Why do you have all these bruises?" Questioned Krystal, with concerned eyes. I couldn't tell her, a part of me wanted to just say it and cry in my cousin's arms but my fear overpowered my will. I just sat on the couch crying, she eventually got up walking around trying to see what was out of order and the answer was quite simple; Everything. The once bloody sheets I was twice but the faint blood stain was still there, I never got around to sweeping that glass up from the broken mirror or throwing those torn pictures and broken frames out. I heard a loud gasp coming from my bedroom, my body shook as I cried harder with many thoughts racing through my mind and pain in my heart. "Tell me he didn't do this to you" She muttered, "Tell me that pig didn't rape you, Anaya". I wished I could tell her it didn't happen, that we just fought and he hurt me a little but that was just wishful thinking. "Ana, tell me" urged Krystal, saddened. I shook my head not trying to lie, I covered my ears crying harder as she wrapped her arms around me and I hugged her back. Krystal climbed on the couch with me laying back and pulled me on top of her; I just cried. I eventually cried myself to sleep; The gentle rise and fall of Krystal's chest put me in a deep sleep.
It had to be midnight or something when I woke up in bed and Krystal was gone. I felt scared thinking Jordan came back and made her leave so he can do it all over again. "K-Krys" I murmured, afraid to talk louder. "I'm in here, sweetie" she said from the livingroom. I relaxed feeling at ease, I climbed out of bed tip toeing not to step on the glass when I realized the glass had been swept up and went into the livingroom with Krystal. "Cat text you...again" stated Krystal, holding my phone up. I walked around the coffee table sitting on the other end of the couch and sighed. "Are you gonna talk to her?" She asked. I shrugged, " I don't know". "She's really worried about you...if anything was to happen she'd blame herself" added Krystal. "I cant" I muttered. "You can tell her anything, she's your best friend" She coaxed, trying to persuade me. "I can't talk to her, Krystal!" I yelped, frowning. Krystal put her hands up like she was calling a truce and sighed. "You can't hide forever, Ana" she added, "She gone come over again". I sighed, I knew I could avoid Cat forever and I honestly wasn't trying to I just was trying to buy enough time for me to heal. I felt like healing was never going to come, I prayed and prayed that these Fears and the pain would go away but nothing. I didn't want Cat to blame herself for anything, it wasn't her fault it was all mine; My poor judgement. I wasn't sure if I could face her just yet after it happened, I was afraid that if she knew; If she found out then she won't see me how she use to. I would no longer be pure and innocent to her. I'm dirty, used and broken; no good. She wouldn't even want me after that all these thoughts and feeling cramped in my head and chest filling me up with uncertainty. What am I going to do now?