Chapter Six
I was definitely jealous as I watched Jack interact with Zack and Rian. Even though I knew Zack and Rian liked one another, I didn’t know for sure that Jack didn’t fancy either one of them. I had felt terrible when Jack had left me at school for Zack, and then even worse when I watched them walk by my house. So I called up Rian, my only other friend, but admittedly not before a few new slash marks appeared on my body. I tried to tell myself to stop for Jack; he wouldn’t want a scarred, broken boy- but I still craved the bite of my razor. The only way to kick that longing was to give in to it, and so I did.
But here and now, laughing and joking with Jack, I felt almost whole again.
Almost.
When Jack suggested we all spend the night, I couldn’t call my mom fast enough. At first she said no, when she found out it was at Jack’s house with no parents, because she didn’t want any “hanky-panky” going on. But when I informed her that there were two other friends there, she sounded excited that I was making friends, and she relented. Never before had I gone out on a Friday night with friends, much less gone out…much less had friends. And now here I was, having a small party and actually sleeping over at someone’s house.
At nine o’clock, I convinced Jack to run back to my house with me to get my things. My dad answered the door this time, “Ah, so you’re the famous Jack I’ve been hearing about !” Jack small talked with my parents until I emerged again, tugging him out the door.
Back at Jack’s, Rian and Zack’s lips were both red and they refused to look one another in the eye- it was obvious they’d been making out. How I wished that were Jack and I…
We finally put a movie in, but we didn’t settle down. It was a real hanging with the guys moment for me, and I was enjoying it almost as much as the fact that I was with Jack, at his house, spending the night. Rian still refused to look at Zack, and Jack and I still pretended not to acknowledge the sexual tension they had going on.
A little after midnight, Zack and Rian had fallen asleep and were currently spooning one another. Jack and I were in the opposite corner of the room trying to stifle our giggles, watching them cuddle up unknowingly. Suddenly Jack turned to me, “Let’s go on a walk.” “It’s midnight,” I told him, bewildered. “So ?” He said, standing. He offered his hand to me, and I took it standing up too and following him outside. The air was brisk and chilly, and I pulled my hood up over my head as we walked. I glanced at Jack, and he stumbled, falling to his knees. “Jack ?!” But he stayed on the ground, staring at nothing. I knelt next to him, “Jack are you okay ?” He put his hands to his head, “I feel…dizzy.” I helped him up, my arm wrapping around his waist. His head dropped to my shoulder, “Alex…don’t tell anyone okay ?” I nodded, “I promise Jack. I promise.”
We reached his house, and I hauled him inside to the kitchen. He sat on the counter, and I flicked on the light to get him some water. “Do you want something to eat ?” I questioned, unsure of what else to do. “No !” He said quickly. “Uh, no thanks. Not hungry.” Something was off about the way he said that, and how he always insisted on not being hungry. I handed him the water, leaning next to him. The look in his eyes told me he was on the verge of saying something important, like he wanted to tell me something but didn’t know how.
Now I was determined to find out what was going on with Jack, whether he was going to tell me himself or not.
“We should probably go to bed now…” I said after a few minutes of awkward silence. “I don’t wanna move,” Jack groaned. I started to walk away, but he grabbed my shoulder. “Alex. Please stay.” I looked at him, “Okay.”
I leaned against the kitchen table, facing him where he still sat on the counter. “Thanks Alex,” Jack said, staring at me with those deep brown eyes. I stepped closer, “Are you going to tell me what’s going on ?” It was a bold move, and Jack froze as soon as I uttered those words. “What do you mean ?” He challenged, waiting for me to come right out with it. “I mean, what’s going on with you ? You’re my friend and I…I care about you. Why did you black out Jack ?” He jumped off the counter, “I’m going to bed.” He pushed past me- I could tell he was mad, but I didn’t want to drop it, I was worried. I grabbed his arm, spinning him around. His face was mere inches from mine, his eyes gazing staring straight into mine.
“Jack ? Please.”
