Chapter Twenty Five
I blinked slowly and the first thing I noticed was pain. I was in severe pain, and nothing else mattered at the moment. “Arghhuhghh.” I moaned, praying for relief. I was surrounded by doctors and nurses immediately, all observing me and giving me various shots. I cried out in pain again, tears streaming down my face. My whole chest was bandaged, I’m guessing from the amount of burns on it. My feet were heavily wrapped as well, and I flashed back to when I was carrying Jack down the staircase while standing in the flames. Jack ! “Where’s Jack, is he okay ? Jack !” Most of the medical professionals left the room, except for one nurse. “Are you Alex ?!” I nodded, still whimpering. “Oh, thank God I found you ! Jack will be so happy.” I sat up too quickly, howling in pain. “Jack ! I need to see him !” The young nurse looked at me, “ Okay, well I’m going to have to sneak him in to see you. I’ll be back in a few, hopefully with Jack. Hang tight.”
I waited anxiously for her return, my eyes never leaving the door. The blinds on the windows that overlooked the hallway were closed, so there was no way for me to see her coming. I self-consciously smoothed my hair, my mind racing a mile a minute. Like where were my parents, and how mad were they ? What had become of the Barakat house ? I didn’t remember anything past looking down on Jack’s note, and that scared me. Hell, I could be dying right now and not even know it. But none of that mattered as the door opened and Jack entered the room.
The moment was undescribable; there were no words. Well, except when I hurriedly assured Jack that I did not and never have hated him. “I love you Jack. Goddamnit I love you.” It didn’t matter that the nurse was still in the room, keeping a lookout for any doctors that might approach. I needed to say what I needed to say. Jack kept his distance, his wheelchair parked at the foot of my bed. He looked over my burns, tears overflowing. “I did this to you. Oh, Alex.” I knew he felt bad that I had gone into the burning house, HIS burning house, but I sure didn’t. It was the right thing to do, and him and his family were alive and that was all that mattered. He was all that mattered.
I grabbed his hand, squeezing tight. “Jack, I’m really sorry about everything. I’m sorry about our fight, it was so stupid. I’ve missed you so much, I couldn’t hardly stand it any longer. I thought you didn’t want to see me, so I didn’t bother trying to talk to you. After the way I acted, I can’t believe you’re speaking with me now…I just cannot stress enough how much you mean to me and how much I love you and don’t want to lose you, I’m just sorry it took something like this for me to really, truly realize it.” The nurse sniffled, and I started crying too. Jack wheeled himself to my bedside, “Alex, just forget about it okay ? We don’t have much time left together, let’s just make the most of it.” He smiled sadly. “W-what ? What do you mean ?” He traced lines on my arm absently, not meeting my eyes. “Alex, my house burned down. We’re going back to Lebanon…for good. Not until after the school year ends though, so we have some time, right ?” He tried to cheer me up, but the bomb had already been dropped. I thought about all the wasted time I could have spent with Jack, the months that I suffered without him. That was nothing compared to now- I would never see him. I couldn’t afford to take trips to see him, so this was it. I had wasted my chances being petty and stupid. Who gets mad at someone for needing help and having an eating disorder ? He was being honest with me, and I threw it in his face and walked out on him. He needed me and I just left without another thought. Then he tried to make it right and I wouldn’t even let him. Jack had probably moved on already, while I’m still stuck on him. I always will be, I know it. What we had was something irreplaceable, it was special. It was love.
This heartbreak hurt worse than my burns ever could. Burns would heal, the scars would fade away but Jack would always stay in my mind.
Jack held my hand, trying to comfort me. He spoke in a soft voice, “Alex, it’s okay. We may not be together, but you’re alive and that’s the important thing. You saved my life, and you saved my mom and dad’s lives. We’ll still talk, I know it won’t be the same, but it’s all we have. I still love you, I always have and I always will. But maybe this happened for a reason.” I looked into his big brown eyes “What are you saying, Jacky ?” He took a deep breath, “I’m saying goodbye.”
