Caged Nightingale [Hunger Games Fanfic]

Phobias (V)

Genophobia (fear of sexual intercourse):

The morning after the surprise (and yet it really shouldn't have been) bachelor party, the two are still sleeping in bed. Neither are too willing to get up and rather tired from the events of yesterday, and last night he managed to massage her into exhaustion (if such a thing were possible). He, on the other hand, had spent the entire night musing over their situation, as the bachelor/bachelorette parties had brought them into stark lighting.

Now he's tired as well, and he doesn't want to get up to go to work. He would much rather stay wrapped around Katniss, holding onto her and probably go back to sleep.

"Call in to work," she murmurs, cutting into his thoughts and echoing them at the same time.

"Should I?" he asks her in amusement.

She huffs and turns around in his arms to face him, looking up blearily at him.

"Why not? You work too much. I kind of want to just laze around in bed today," she snuggles into his chest, trying to repress a yawn.

"That does sound nice," he hmmed, thinking about it. He has plenty of sick days. He's never used one of them. Today, though, might seem like a good time to use one...

He's shocked out of his internal debate, when he feels a tentative lick to his collarbone and he jerks back away from Katniss to stare at her wide-eyed. Her face is flushed in embarrassment and she's not looking at him.

"K-Katniss?"

But then she practically throws herself on top of him, catching him by surprise as she pushes him onto the bed and moves to straddle him, soft and very enticing kisses pressing against his neck and downwards as she moves lower.

But his mind clears from the haze full of lust he was drowning in, and he's gently pushing her away and moving her to sit beside him.

"Katniss...what's wrong?" he asks quietly, brushing a lock of hair that falls into her face and hiding part of it from his view.

She's visibly clenching her jaw and he runs his knuckles tenderly under it to try to comfort and calm her.

"I was just thinking...about the wedding...and the way we got together...and everything else...it's all been dictated by Snow. I just...I want to be able to decide one important thing. Damn it, I won't let him dictate the first time I have sex with you also –if there's one thing I can, if there's anything I won't let him take from me –I want to be with you on my own terms. Not his," she sounds frustrated and upset and he doesn't know what else to do but embrace her.

"God, it's not fair," she squeezes his torso tightly. "Everything is by his direction. I wish...I wish I could have fallen in love with you normally," she mutters into his neck and he nuzzles the top of her head affectionately.

"I know. Me too," he tells her back. "But I'm just glad I was able to love you at all."

He tentatively moves back so he could look her in the eye, grabbing hold of her hands and clutching onto them reassuringly.

"But we can't, Katniss. We shouldn't do it, not like this. In the end, you'll be doing it with me because of Snow anyways –because you don't want him to make the decision but you're making the decision based on him either way. I promise I'll make love to you, Katniss. But not like this, not right now. Not because of that."

She swallows heavily and throws herself at him again, only this time to hold onto him tightly. She doesn't cry and she's very quiet, but she has a vice grip on him and her head is buried into his chest and she won't show her face.