I am Veronica (bwwm)

Between feelings (4)

Chapter four: Between feelings

"Are...are you coming or..?" I said feeling slightly annoyed. Norah rolled her eyes at me accross the table and mouthed typical.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm walking in the mall right now," Chanel said on the other end. "I'm only fifteen minutes late anyway."

"Try thirty." I ended the call and took a sip of my smoothie.

Norah reached up and pulled at her puff ball. "Why is she always late? What does she have to be doing?" Her dark amber eyes were full of annoyance.

I shrugged in response. "Honestly? I wish I could tell you." As I was saying that, Chanel walked up to our table and pulled up a chair and sat between us.

"Hey bitches," She said with a smile. "What's up, sorry I was late." She flashed me a bright smile and I smiled in spite of myself.

"What took you so long?" Norah said, pursing her lips.

Chanel reached up and let her hair out of its wet bun. She shook her curls out and made an attempt at a seductive face, biting her lip. "It takes a lot of work to look this sexy." I laughed and Norah snorted.

"Stop making the lightskin face!" Norah said giggling. "That kills me every time!"

When we stopped laughing at the dumb face Chanel was making, she reached over and took a bite of Norah's fries, then said, "No, I was on the phone with Chris that's why I was late." I choked on my smoothie.

"Ex--excuse me?" I said once I could breathe again.

Chanel smiled impishly. "Yeaaaah,"

I exchanged a look with Norah who looked disapproving. "After all the crap V's told you about him? And what everyone says about him at school?"

Chanel twirled a strand of her carmel hair between her fingers. "He's hot and I'm bored." I felt a twinge of annoyance as she said that.

"He's problematic. You're going go get hooked and he's going to leave you high and dry, I guarantee it." I said and her face seemed to sober up a little bit.

"Maybe he is, but isn't everyone at least a tiny bit problematic?"

Before I could find a response to that, Norah pulled out her phone, frowning. "Shaun just...broke up with me?" Her voice was coated with disbelief. "What the hell?"

"He was no good anyway," Chanel said. "He never showed up when you needed him and he lied to you when there wasn't even a reason to. Gimme that phone." She reached over and plucked the phone from Norah's hands, and Norah let her, her brow furrowed. Chanel spent a minute typing something then she showed it to me.

I snickered. "Send it, he deserves it. Then block him." Chanel showed it to Norah then did as I said. After that she then handed the phone back to Norah who looked a little bit better. "Anyway, how did you even get Chris's number?"

Chanel smiled. "He gave out business cards." I choked. "Nah, I'm just joking. I asked Ashlynn, blonde girl on the cheer squad." Ashlynn? I sincerely hoped I never had to come face-to-face with her ass ever again. But knowing this town I would. Chanel was on the cheer squad along with my friend Daniela. Those two were the only two cheerleaders I could stand. A lot of the girls on the team weren't very nice. They only talked to people who were like them, athletic and popular. Which was irritating to me, as most of them held a sense of entitlement.

"That doesn't make it any better, Ashlynn's....terrible."

"Whatever," Chanel said brushing me off just like I knew she would. "We're going to see a movie later today." I started to reprimand her, then she held up her hand. "Save it. It won't change anything." I bit back my annoyance, but only because I had looked at Norah and she was close to tears and my attention would be better served directed at her.

After that, we decided to walk around the mall in an attempt to make her feel better. We bought her a milkshake and spent the rest of the afternoon browsing, until I decided to drive home to finish up my project.

★-★-★-★-★

I had decided to work on the character sheet and the PowerPoint. I got my stuff and spread it out on my bed. I fell into a rhythm write, search, write...I felt myself spacing out. My thoughts landed on Chanel again. If she wanted to mess around with Chris and get hurt when he moved on to the next girl...that's on her.

For some reason the thought of Chanel going out with Chris bothered me. I reduced it down to the fact that he was such an asshole. I was nearly done by the time Kevin knocked on my door. "Time for dinner, are you coming?"

"Nah," I called from my bed. "I have homework. I'll get something to eat later." I heard Kevin's steps fade away from my door and I continued working on the Character Analysis, falling back into write, search, write... I felt my thought's drifting to Chris this time.

I thought about how weird things had gotten earlier and for half a second I wondered about that look he'd gotten on his face. A mix of shock and...I couldn't put my finger on it. The moment passed, and I remembered how infuriating he was and I stopped trying to analyze it.

About an hour had passed so I decided to take a break. I pulled out my green notebook. I wanted to doodle some things.

Sighing, I closed my notebook. Most of my drawings were in this notebook but, I had countless other notebooks for other classes in which I'd scribble little drawings and faces. I flipped to a random page. It was a drawing of Antonio I had done for our anniversary. I sighed. I sent him a copy of that drawing, he said thanks. He didn't give me a long spiel about how much he loved me, like I wanted. I got upset at that and I was so upset I didn't speak to him for a few days. He eventually apologized and told me he cared about me more than anything, he just didn't know how to put his thoughts into words.

That was another thing. He had issues saying he loved me first. He could say he cared about me but he next to never said I love you first. We'd been dating two years and he still had issues with that. He said he always thought if he said it first he was afraid I might not say it back. I always assured him I would, but it changed nothing. But I signed up for this, and even if he didn't do big, grand gestures to express how he felt, I loved him and I was pretty sure he loved me too. What could change that?

★-★-★-★-★