Sanity Siphoned

Ch13: Agony Refreshed

Chapter 13

It was nearly a month to the day since the last time her mother attempted to have her friend's family over for dinner. Julienne had no idea why her mother was trying again; it couldn't be because she thought she was more stable. Maybe she secretly liked torturing her too; Julienne entertained that thought for a moment then shook it away. Her mother may be painfully oblivious to her suffering but she loved her.

Luckily this time she didn't request that Julienne wear something nice. She stayed in the jeans and shirt she wore to school. She stood next to her mom while she greeted everyone. After that she took refuge on the couch with her math book open across her lap.

Michael had never let her ignore him and he wasn't about to start. He sat next to her while his brother took the recliner. "Make any new friends lately?" he sounded angry and Julienne knew he had seen her leave with Nick. He had been a few feet back from Anna when she approached them. "Nick Sheldon, really?" he made gagging sounds.

She groaned and looked at him. "Michael Gregory, really?" she mocked and snatched her book back up.

"So what, you like him now?" Michael grabbed her book and tossed it on to the coffee table.

Julienne crossed her arms and wouldn't look at him. She wished he would go away; somehow just disappear from the room. She went as far as to wish they had never met. It was all one giant regret. She knew he was thinking about what to say next and she didn't want to hear it. She looked around for a distraction and found Shane trying to act like there wasn't tension suffocating the room. "It was you who grabbed the knife from me right?" she had been curious about that. The memories were fuzzy.

"Yeah. Are you feeling better from that night?"

She shook her head. "I currently feel like stabbing myself. My mom's making me see a shrink." Julienne thought she must've hung out with Nick a little too long; her mouth was going almost as fast as his. "Your brother makes me suicidal and I wish he'd leave me alone." She got up and walked out of the room.

IIII

Shane's eyes went wide. "Did you hear that?" he asked his younger brother.

Michael waved it off. "She's just pissed at me. The reasons why are pretty long so I'm not sure which is it. See the progress though? She wouldn't have spoken that much weeks ago." he boasted.

"She's talking about killing herself. Yeah real progress. What haven't you told me?" he moved to sit closer to him and lower the chance of being overheard.

"She got into a fight today with Anna and I didn't do anything and now apparently she's hanging out with this other guy who helped her and he's a total loser."

"So this guy helped her and you didn't? Yeah that should piss her off. You can really be a dump shit. This other guy is a stranger and stepped up. You've gotten close to her and didn't make a move at all and let your dumb idiot friends hurt her, do you see the problem?"

"I'm not a fucking kid Shane, stop treating me like one."

"Act like you have something in there besides space and I will." He said, tapping him on the side of the head. "You need to give yourselves both time. She doesn't want anything to do with you right now."

Michael got up. "I can fix that."

Shane pulled him back down. "Have you not heard a word I've said or she said? You can't fix this with your dick."

"Dude stop being so dirty." He said with a fake gasp. "It was the furthest thing from my mind."

"It was the first."

He got him there. Michael sat back and tried to figure out a way to dig himself out of this hole. He didn't want to hurt Julienne, that he was a hundred percent sure on but it seemed that's exactly what he was doing with his indifference. He thought staying out of her feud with Anna and the other girls had been a smart move. He explained that to Shane.

"That might make sense I don't know but I do know that's not how Julienne saw it. You stood back and she saw it as a sign you don't care, that you were just using her yesterday."

"Cover for me. I have to talk to her." he went the opposite way so Shane couldn't stop him again.

Michael found her in her room curled up on her side. She really was breaking his heart and he was starting to understand why he told his mother that. It was her pain that was starting to affect him. He moved closer. "I wasn't using you for sex and it wasn't that I didn't say anything today because I didn't care. I do care. I just thought it'd be easier if I kept us and what happens in school separate." He sat next to her on the bed and brushed her hair away from her face and neck.

"Easier for you."

"No for the both of us. You think Anna has it out for you now? She'd try to murder you if she found out about us. Nothing ever happened but she acts like a jealous ex-girlfriend and always has since we met. I want what happens between us just to be for us. I don't want anyone's opinion." He bent forward and kissed her. "Don't be mad at me anymore."

With a sigh she kissed him back. She was weak and didn't know how to fight what he offered her. When they were alone it was perfect and he made her feel human. There was nothing she wanted more then to feel that way all the time. Cruelly the one person who gave her that couldn't be there all the time. They had stolen moments they had to keep a secret. It was doomed from the start and was bound to end the same way. Julienne's logical side of her brain knew that but she selfishly wanted a little more before they crashed and burned. Soon she'd find the strength to deny him.

She sat up and after one more kiss she got out of the bed. "I can't give my mom a reason to be suspicious."

"Is she really going to make you see a doctor?" Michael asked. She nodded yes and he asked next, "Why?"

"You're supposed to say it's about time. You've been suggesting I get professional help all year." She mumbled softly as the words came to her after the memories she couldn't forget.

He awkwardly ran his hand over his hair. "I was such a dick."

A lump of sadness formed in her throat as she looked at him. "You still are."