Sanity Siphoned

Ch15: Emotionally Charged

Chapter 15

Michael laid on his side, propped up by his elbow, watching Julienne sleep. She was laying flat on her stomach with her arm clutching the pillow tight. He hooked his finger on to the sheet and slowly lowered it down her back to reveal naked skin.

He thought of all the creative ways he could wake her up when he noticed she was crying in her sleep. She didn't make a sound as the large tears rolled down her cheeks. Worried, he started shaking her shoulder. "Julienne wake up. Wake up." He shook her harder.

She jumped awake and started fighting his hands off.

"Julienne!" he tightened his grip on her shoulders and pinned her down on the bed before she took his eye out. "Stop it, look at me!" he pressed his body into hers and that got her attention. "Look at me." he said more softly and the recognition started to fill her stormy grey eyes. The storm behind them now was a big one. Still gripping her arms he slowly sat up and held her against his chest. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She held onto him with every bit of strength she had and shook her head no.

Moments ago her bare back stirred very erotic thoughts, now he stroked it in a comforting manner and sex was the furthest thing from his mind. Holding her in his arms and with emotion threatening to choke him; he never wanted to talk to Shane more. He needed advice badly. What the hell was happening to him? There was a naked girl in his arms and all he wanted was to somehow make her feel better.

For them to both get comfortable he leaned back into the head board and let her lay across his chest.

Silence wasn't his friend and never had been. As Julienne drifted back to sleep his thoughts started ganging up on him and each one freaked him out.

It was about an hour later when he couldn't take it anymore and carefully slid out from under Julienne and got dressed. He needed to get away and be himself. The caring guy that held the girl as they cried wasn't him. His mind screamed to get away and create distance.

It was late but his parents asked no questions when he got home. Bypassing his room he went straight to Shane's room and hoped he was inside. He was. "You need to help me." Michael announced while throwing himself down on his brother's bed.

Shane closed the book he was reading and shook his head. "What did you do now?"

"Me? Nothing."

"You were at Julienne's right? That's something."

"Yeah, yeah I know you think it's a bad idea, don't remind me. Yes I went over there and Nick, her new friend I told you about, well he was there and I wanted to beat the shit out of him. They were working on some paper and the whole time I kept looking at her with these puppy dog eyes and she doesn't even notice it!"

"You should jealous."

"Fuck you. So anyway he leaves and I finally get her alone and it's great, better then great." He shuddered in delight at the mere memory of her grabbing him. "We fell asleep and here's where I need help. I woke up first and watched her, she was crying in her sleep so I woke her up and whatever she was dreaming did a number on her. She was an emotional wreck. I held her until she calmed down and fell asleep again. Why did I do that? Why do I care about what she's hiding? If she wanted to tell me she would." He sat up suddenly and buried his face against his hands. "I want to take her pain away and see her smile. It's freaking me out." He looked at his brother through a small opening in his fingers.

Michael wanted someone to tell him something helpful and instead his older started to laugh. Anger soared inside of him, he stood and walked around the other side of the bed where he punched Shane hard in the arm.

"Oww you little shit that hurt."

"Why the hell are you laughing?"

"Because!" he grabbed Michael's face. "My little brother's falling in love."

Michael reacted as if someone just kicked him in the gut. His expression turned sour and he marched back to his spot on the bed. "You're losing it. I don't do love."

"You just said it. You want to help her, you want her to be happy and that has nothing to do with a casual sexual relationship. You're in deep and if I'm correct you've never said that about any of the other girls you've dated." Shane explained, sobered from his earlier laughing binge.

"None of the other girls were as emotionally fucked up as Julienne is. It could be just maybe I do have a heart and I don't want to see her suffering."

"It could be but that doesn't explain why you're jealous another guy is looking."

"That's easy; I'm a selfish prick who doesn't like sharing."

"I don't understand why it's so easy for you to look down on yourself then admit you could have feelings for someone. The emotional fuck up here is you. Julienne hides more obviously but you're just as terrified to let someone in because you're just as scared and probably more so since she has let you in."

It was easier not to dig any deeper into his shortcomings. "How can you be so sure, about Julienne letting me in?"

"It takes some amount of trust to fall asleep in someone's arms."

He couldn't remember the last time he was scared. The thought of falling for Julienne terrified him. He couldn't let it happen; it wouldn't be fair to either of them. "I gotta change this course."

IIII

Julienne woke up that morning with no memory of Michael leaving. She laid there and slowly last night came back. He had seen her crying. "Oh no." she faintly whispered inside the empty room. She had freaked out in front of him, no wonder he left without a word. Of course a girl crying in her sleep then flipping out when he tried to wake her up would freak him out. It freaked her out. She felt like the world's biggest idiot for falling asleep in the first place.

Alone she allowed herself to realize why she had fallen asleep; she had felt safe in his arms.

Outraged with her own thoughts and feelings she hastily sat up. Safe? What the hell was that? Safe in the arms of the boy who terrorized you for years and stands idly by while his friends tease and hurt you? Her own subconscious was furious as her for allowing herself to be made the fool yet again.

She had to stay away from Michael Gregory.