Sanity Siphoned

Ch22: Stress Lifted

Chapter 22

Dr. Sharon had explained several times to Julienne that she should tell her mother the truth about Michael and the emotions she fought to hide from her. Julienne was more open about her feelings but she couldn't admit to her mother the secret affair she had with Michael under her nose. And because of that she was stuck to suffer though a dinner with the Gregory family tonight.

"It'll be good to be around people, right?" Ellen Teller said with a small smile as she moved around the kitchen.

"Mom I know you and Mrs. Gregory are close, you want to invite her over then fine. I also know it doesn't matter what I say you'll worry anyway. I promise you won't regret tonight. I'm fine." It was a fib, ok a flat out lie but she could fake it enough for her mother to have a nice dinner and visit with her friend. The truth was she was freaking out at the prospect of being in the same room with Michael without the barrier of school or Nick. Julienne had enough faith in her recovery to survive the night. It might be uncomfortable but it wouldn't waver her strength. That she wouldn't allow ever again. "Is there anything I can do? Make the salad?"

Ellen stopped and gave her daughter a flat look. "Not funny."

"Come on yes it was." The doorbell rung. "I'll get it and that should help ease your fears. Watch how good I'll be." she took off running to the door before her mother could intervene. Yeah so her biggest mistake and the source of her breaking point was on the other side; she was going to suck it up and exercise everything she learned in rehab. She owed her mother this and a hell of a lot more. "Hello Mrs. Gregory," Mr. Gregory couldn't make it this time. "Please come inside." She held the door open and let them in. "Hi Shane and Michael." Her heart raced at a painful speed but didn't wavier the polite smile across her face.

"Julienne, you look lovely." Patricia Gregory commented.

"Thank you." She turned toward the kitchen to let her know where to find her mom when she spotted her leaned against the entry way watching them. Her forced smile turned real as she saw the relief and joy inside her mother's eyes. More then anything they were laced with hope. "Hey, how much longer for it to be done?"

"Twenty minutes at the most or it's a lost cause and we're having pizza."

Julienne decided to have a little bit more fun with her mother as she turned back to the kitchen with Patricia following. "Seriously though, no on the salad?"

Ellen laughed. "You're going to be the death of me Julienne Teller." She disappeared back into the kitchen.

"You're joking about it now?" Shane asked, breaking the silence before it turned uncomfortable.

Julienne shrugged. "It's either laugh or cry and I'm pretty tired of crying. How are you?" it was much easier to use Shane as her focal point and ask him questions then glance at Michael standing not far from them. Usually by now he was doing the talking and calling the shots. Not any more, no matter what she had to stay in control of the situation.

"She doesn't really care, she's just trying to ignore me." Michael insulted.

A burst of anger hit her before she could digest it. "Don't speak for me. You don't know what I think or feel and you never did. I'm trying to be the bigger person here and give my mom a good night. I won't let you ruin it. There's nothing for us to discuss so yeah I'm interested in how your brother is doing." Looking into his eyes and saying what was on her mind for the first time instead of running from him and his abuse, it the most gratifying feeling in the world causing a huge pressure to lift from her shoulders.

"You're wrong, there's a lot to discuss." Michael wasn't dropping it easily.

She shook her head and refused to cower, she kept her head up. "You made it all perfectly clear before. Nothing serious, remember?" she spat the words back at him. "I'm better in spite of you Michael Gregory so yeah it's all been said."

"No." he ran a hand through his hair, it was longer then the last time they spoke that night he so coldly tossed her aside with no regard. "I was wrong. It's always been serious."

Julienne couldn't take it anymore and glanced away from his eyes. "It doesn't matter anymore. There's nothing you can say to change everything that happened these last few years, especially toward the end. I don't want anything to do with you. Maybe just maybe this one time you can honor my wishes." She let out a shaky breath. "I'll go see if dinner is ready yet."

IIII

Shane clamped his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Now isn't the time."

"She needs to know the truth." Michael whispered. He felt defeated. It wasn't easy being on the other side of having your heart torn to shreds. Damn he wished it could've been different, he wished more then anything he would've stopped running and faced what he felt head on no matter how much it scared him. "You heard her, she's never going to forgive me."

"True." Shane agreed grimly. "But like you said she doesn't have the whole truth. She doesn't have a clue what you truly feel about her or that being a complete dick was your way of trying to protect your heart."

"I can't even try to tell her anything. At school she's a master at dodging me and here….well you saw." he sank down into the couch with Shane by his side. He had different hopes for that evening, if he could just get through to her…

"Can you really blame her? You should just be happy she hasn't cut you into little pieces and served you up."

"No I can't blame her but you know what? All bullshit aside yeah she's pissed and probably regrets the day I was ever born but I know deep down she misses me almost as much as I miss her. I'll make this right." He needed to hope on to that bit of hope, it was all he had. he was nowhere near ready to give up and let go of Julienne forever.

"How?"

"I have no freaking clue."