Sanity Siphoned

Ch24: Confessions Witnessed

Chapter 24

Julienne knew Michael Gregory was a cruel bastard, she probably knew that better then anyone but his latest stunt, now that was the icing on the cake. What did he think? That she'd fall right back into his arms and forgive months, no years of suffering at his hand? Did he really think she'd fall for that flat out lie? She was shaking with anger as she paced the girl's bathroom.

Try as she might she couldn't stop the tears that ran down her cheeks or the sobs they turned into. Her chest burned with fury and far back in her heart she cried with regret it wasn't true. Foolishly she had thought about it, what it would be like for Michael to have feelings of love for her, for him to give them a chance to be something real and not a secret hidden in the shadows. He shattered those thoughts every time he left her alone to be with the people that hurt her and every time he felt the need to remind her it wasn't serious, it was just a sex thing.

"A mistake that went too far. It wasn't real….it never was." She murmured to herself as she sat on the dirty bathroom floor. She wasn't sure how much time passed when she finally found the courage to get back out there and face her tormentors.

She ran into Nick in the hallway. They were supposed to meet for lunch and she was more then a little late. He grabbed her shoulders and studied her face. "You don't look good. Should I call someone?" his voice was laced with worry she couldn't blame him for having.

Julienne smiled more for his benefit then anything else. "I'm having a bad day. It was bound to happen but I'm not cracking up or anything. We don't have to hide the sharp objects."

"You're still joking so that's good. Do you want to tell me why you're having a bad day?"

"I'm starving. We can talk after school." She took his arm and led the way. If she skipped lunch it'd look like she was hiding. She vowed to never hide again. Her butt barely touched the bench when Michael appeared at the table. "Aren't you worried someone might see you talking to poor, insignificant, crazy me?" Anger was good, Julienne decided. It helped remind her of what was true and important and what wasn't. It fueled her resolve to stay strong.

He ignored that and asked. "Are you alright?" he appeared to be genuine with his concern but Julienne knew better then to trust it.

"Why wouldn't I be? You're cruel games don't affect me anymore." She kept her jaw tight and in the far parts of her mind wishes he'd go and end this torture.

"It's not a game and I wasn't lying. You ran away before I could say anything else."

"No I didn't run. I left because I didn't want to waste anymore time on you." Julienne said the words with fire he winced at, for a split second she almost felt bad and then remembered the anger she was holding onto.

"What is it going to take for you to believe this isn't some bullshit trick?" Michael didn't bother to mind his tone. By now most of the students had forgotten what they were doing to watch the argument.

"You don't get it do you?" she stood from the bench. "I don't believe you. I would be the biggest idiot in the world to ever believe something that came out of your mouth. It took me awhile but I realized there's no changing someone and you've shown me for years just who you are and what you think of me." her chest tightened but she refused to cry another tear and especially not in front of him.

"No," Michael whispered, his tone tight with emotion. "It's not like that anymore."

She pulled back violently when he reached for her hand. Nick joined them and tried to intervene. "Just leave her alone. Everyone's watching and I'm sure this isn't something you want to do in front of them."

Julienne chuckled, the sound was ugly and laced with hate. "Yeah, it's going to be tough trying to explain this away."

Michael winced again, reacting as if her words were psychical blows. "I don't care what anyone thinks. Maybe this will prove it." he walked away and climbed on one of the tables sitting in the center of the room. "I want everyone to know I fucked up in a big way by trying to lie to myself and everyone around me." he kept his eyes on Julienne, he wasn't going to let her deny him anymore. "That's me; a liar. I lied and made excuses for my behavior because I thought in some twisted way it was right because it was expected of me.

"What I really did was blow the best thing that ever happened to me because I didn't know how to man up. The truth is the more time I spent with Julienne Teller the harder I fell in love with her.

"That terrified me so I thought if I could change what was happening, if I could push her away and still hold onto her at the same time I wouldn't have to face the truth and I wouldn't have to be scared anymore." He stared into her eyes and didn't bother to try and hide or stop the tears running from his. "It scared me to fall for you and not because of our past or what someone would think; it scared me because if I made it real and then I lost you I wouldn't know how to handle it.

"Except I lost you anyway." He whispered toward the end, his voice failing him as he poured his heart out for all to witness.

Neither of them moved. She stared at him on top of that table and he stared at her unable to say anything else or move an inch. It was as if time froze still for the both of them. Julienne didn't know what to say or how to react. Hell she didn't know what to feel.

The crowd around them started talking and speculating amongst themselves. It was Anna who grabbed everyone's attention next. "Did we all just step into the twilight zone? Please tell me this is some weird joke?" she asked of Michael.

"The only joke here is you Anna." Michael said as he got off the table. "You're fake, superficial and annoying as hell. You make fun of Julienne and swear up and down that your better then her but the truth is you couldn't be half the person she is even on your best day." He walked away and stopped in front of Julienne. "Say something." He begged.

She shook her head and stepped back. "I can't."

"Can't what?"

"Any of it." she broke her promise to herself to never run again. She turned and ran out of the lunch room and then out of the school without a glance back.