Sanity Siphoned

Ch20: Therapy Charged

Chapter 20

Nick had somehow managed to con the rehab staff into letting him stay late on visiting days and soon he was around even when it wasn't a visiting day. It didn't take long for the staff to see his was a positive influence on Julienne or for his infectious charm to rub off on the staff members and doctors. He joked he either had to win everyone over or have himself committed, either way he was sticking around.

"I think Mrs. Robinson is about to kidnap me to keep as a sex slave." Nick said about one of the councilors, an older woman he affectionately named Mrs. Robinson to keep as an inside joke between him and Julienne.

"Oh no." Julienne slapped her book closed. "What will we do?"

"Joke all you want but when I come up missing you'll miss me."

"True but think about it; you'll be having the time of your life."

Nick shuddered as he sat on her bed. "She's almost sixty."

Julienne shrugged. "I told you to stop being so sexy around her." she bit down on her lip to keep from laughing.

"How is this sexy?" he was wearing a pair of ripped jeans and an old t-shirt.

"It's all the colors in your mohawk, it reminds her of the hippie days of free love and all that stuff."

"You're turning red to keep from laughing. I take it your session went well?"

Julienne shrugged and sat up from her small twin size bed. "Dr. Sharon makes some good points and she doesn't take bull crap either so I cant' ignore her like I want to at times. We moved on from my tenacity to blame myself for everything and now she wants to tackle my need for self destruction." She sighed. "It is helping. I don't waking up filled with doom anymore and I can mention Amanda and my father without looking for the nearest knife." She said about her baby cousin.

"And your other heated subject to avoid, how's that going?" Nick was careful with his words, they never mentioned him by name anymore.

"We made a pact not to mention him at all, remember?" Michael Gregory was one subject she still hadn't found the strength to discuss with Dr. Sharon, no one even knew about it except for Nick.

"I know and we don't have to but you have to talk to someone if you want to move on from him and leave this place with nothing to weigh you down."

Julienne's shoulders slumped and she tried to stay strong. "Mom mentioned him when she called last night. Apparently he's dating this really 'nice' girl. It's like I never existed." She wanted to go on like Michael never happened, like it meant nothing but those lies were too hard to believe.

"You know when I was with Anna I used to think if I just said or did something differently she'd notice me more and start to feel the same way. It took me awhile to realize it didn't matter because I wasn't the problem so I couldn't fix it. Michael doesn't know what he screwed up when he pushed you away. He has his own issues he needs to deal with."

As Julienne thought about that she agreed with it. She wasn't the only one feeding into self destruction when they were together. "You could've just called him an ass."

Nick chuckled while wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "He is an ass, a huge hairy one that doesn't deserve your time anymore. You need to get better for you and everyone else be damned." He kissed her forehead and let go. "I have to go before she finds me."

Julienne laughed and pushed him away. "Go I'll give you a five minute head start before I tell her you were here and didn't bother to say hello."

"You wouldn't dare."

She smiled as he took off running out the door. She shook her head and laid back on the bed. Soon it'd be time for dinner and her group session. It was interesting to hear others talk about their reason for being there and the progress they've made but Julienne hadn't found the courage yet to speak. It was still easier to be the quiet girl in the corner hoping no one would notice.

She knew she was making progress in the last month, she no longer held anger toward her mother for locking her away. She knew now if she hadn't gotten help it was only a matter of time before she succeeded in really hurting herself. She was learning it didn't matter how painful the tragedy or the emotion nothing warranted death; everything could be fixed with time and healing. She was doing well with healing her wounds of the past, now she just had to heal the wounds Michael left on her heart.

"I just saw Nick running though the main entrance yelling 'she'll never get me.' He's…something else."

Julienne sat up and found Dr. Sharon standing at the door. The older woman stepped inside and shut it behind her. "Yeah he's special."

"And a wonderful friend it seems, he's the only one who makes you smile. How did you meet?" She asked in a voice that Julienne knew from their sessions, she was fishing for something.

"In school, we've discussed that already." Julienne answered with small amount of dread filling her. She knew the doctor had something up her sleeve.

"But not the circumstance behind it."

"You talked to Nick didn't you? And he told you more then I did." Her shoulders slumped to match the rest of her mood. "I thought my progress was supposed to happen when I was ready."

"I don't want to rush you Julienne, I just want to help and you've been here now more then half your stay and you're still holding back. I want you to succeed in completing this program and going home but I will not let you go unless I believe you're ready."

Julienne couldn't blame the doctor for doing her job. She couldn't blame anyone for her mistakes and the fact they still made her feel like a failure. "Nick and I met when I got into a fight at school with some other girls. He helped me to the Nurse's office and never left my side. Having him there made me realize the mistakes I was making with Michael who never lifted a finger to help me." It was harder then she thought it'd be to say his name after all this time of trying to pretend he didn't exist anymore.

"Michael?"

"He's what I've been hiding. After I tell you about him you might want to keep me locked up because only an insane person could be so stupid." The tears began early, stinging her eyes as his face wouldn't escape her mind's eye.

Dr. Sharon smiled softly and took a seat. "Let me be the judge of that."

AN: Please if you are reading, vote and comment, I will be adding a chapter every day.