Sanity Siphoned

CH16: Carelessly Shattered

Chapter 16

Julienne thought when Saturday came and went with no word from Michael that just maybe he felt the same way she had about them staying away from each other. That Sunday afternoon proved different when she opened the door and he was on the other side.

"We need to talk." He said while stepping inside.

Ok, Julienne thought, he wanted to break their relationship face to face. She could handle that, or so she hoped. "Alright." She said when he stood there staring at her.

"I've been thinking. I like what we have going." She looked up and met his eyes; she hadn't been expecting him to say that. Michael continued, "But we can't let it get too serious. I'm not ready for something like that and you probably aren't either."

Julienne refrained from scoffing in his face. He always lumped her in to make himself feel better about his choices. Like if he made her think he was looking out for her, or that it was all her idea she'd be fine with it all. "I didn't ask you for anything." She whispered softly, a weak tone that made her cringe inwardly. No matter what she thought or didn't think she never had the backbone to express it for long.

"No, I know it's just after last night…." He left the sentence to hang there while he ran a tense hand through his hair. "You get the idea, right?" he searched her face for a reply and got a nod yes for his effort. "You're being really silent."

"Sometimes there's just nothing to say." She wished that were true, there was a lot she wanted to say but didn't have the courage to open the door and let the words flow because she didn't want to know his reaction. At the end of the day none of it mattered, she was still that sad girl in the background.

"Julienne," he grabbed her around the waist. "I want to know what you're thinking."

She shook her head. "My mom will be back in a few hours. You should go."

Michael made no moves to leave the house. He stood there in front of her with his hands still on her hips and his eyes focused on her face. He leaned in and kissed her next. Julienne had never been able to deny him before and couldn't start now. She was too far gone to deny the addiction.

Frustrated, she kissed him back and took the small glimpses of peace he could offer.

With haste and emotionally charged movements they fell on top of her bed within minutes of the kiss. She took a moment to breathe as he pulled at her pants. It didn't matter what type of conversations they tried to have or how the day was going; they ended up entangled in each other.

After, she didn't want to risk the chance of falling asleep or time escaping them. She got redressed as soon as possible.

"I can take a hint." Michael joked as he reached for his clothes. "There's something else I wanted to talk to you about. We agreed what's happening would stay between us," he reminded her except she never really agreed to anything. He thought his idea would be best and she put up no argument. "My friends are already asking questions about where I am so I agreed to put in appearances and go out with them and the girls."

Julienne was really glad she had her back facing him. He couldn't see the tears that stung her eyes and how carelessly he hurt her. He didn't say it in so many words but what he meant was he'd use her for sex and go out in public with girls that were socially correct for his crowd. "Sure." She knew how to hide her sorrow for later.

She walked him to the door and let him kiss her one more time before leaving.

Alone Julienne walked over to the couch and slowly sat down. His words replayed in her mind like a taunting evil recording. She wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there when someone knocked on the door. She made no attempt to get up and answer it. She didn't even breathe too hard through the trance she was stuck in.

The door opened. "Hey it was unlocked, are you ok?" Nick asked with his cheerful voice. "Julienne?" he touched her shoulder and then her chin when he got no response. She looked up at with red puffy eyes. "Crap, what happened?" he sat next to her. "How long are you going to let this guy walk all over you?" it didn't take him long to figure out what could be making her cry. "Why don't you think you deserve better?"

"I'm not even supposed to be alive." Her voice was horse with dryness and sadness.

"So you shouldn't know real affection? It's ok to let some guy use you because you're a corpse anyway?" he gripped her by the shoulders and shook her in hopes she'd snap out of it. "You are alive and you deserve a whole lot better then being Michael's blow up doll."

She winced at his brutally honest words. "How did you find out?"

"He made sure I noticed him holding your hand and he glared at me the whole time I was here Friday. It was all macho acts for staking claim. You also have a hickey on your neck. How far have you gone with him?" his words were fast as he rushed to get all his thoughts out.

"I don't….I don't want to talk about this." At the end of the day she was ashamed of what she was doing with Michael.

"Fine, it's up to you." Nick said.

It felt kind of nice to hear those words; it didn't feel like much was up to her these days. Between her mother and Michael she didn't have a say in anything. "Why did you come?"

"I was at home bored out of my mind and thought it'd be good idea to see what you were up to. I figured you'd be here alone and bored too since your mom doesn't come back for a few more hours. Do you want to get out of here? Go see a movie or find some ice cream shop and eat until we're sick? Ooh or-?"

Julienne tightened her grip on his hand to get him to stop talking. "I'll go get changed and you can decide."

"Is that a yes? You're agreeing to leave the house with me?"

Julienne wondered what he saw when he looked in the mirror because she didn't see what was so wrong with him. Anna must've done a number on his self esteem. He should be worried about being seen with her, not the other way around. "Yeah."

"Awesome. I can't promise anything too exciting but I'm sure it'll beat sitting around here crying over that asshole. Hurry up and go get dressed. You know I'm a little bit hyper."

"A little?"

"Yeah so hurry but and we can hit the town."