How I got over my Ex

How the truth was out there

"Thanks, I'm starving." I said, trying to push my enthusiasm down because it was threatening to come out. It was just food she was offering. Food was a basic need. Something you need to consume in order to survive. As far as I knew, this wasn't a peace offering. It wouldn't be logical since I was the one who needed forgiveness and not her.

I hesitantly sat down beside her on the couch while maintaining a healthy distance between the two of us. She probably ordered Chinese food for one person but they always gave you enough to feed an army. It was always the better option to share it with someone else rather than throwing it away.

Although, she did talk. She didn't throw the boxes filled with hot food at my face. She offered. Kindly.

I decided to eat in silence. Jane was watching a movie anyway. She seemed very focused on it too, her eyes were practically glued to the screen. Or maybe she was trying real hard to avoid me.

When the credits started rolling, I was almost done with my food. Jane remained where she was and her eyes never once diverted from the screen. I noticed she seemed tense. She didn't have her familiar confident air like she usually had. A part of me was glad she was just as uncomfortable as me.

"So... how've you been?" I asked. Jane didn't look or say anything, she just shrugged. By this time, I was mentally punishing myself. I knew I shouldn't have asked. I knew it was stupid but at least I tried.

"You?" Jane asked in return.

"I've been better." I said quietly. She kept surprising me with these random acts of almost kindness. Well, more like random acts of being civil. Like we were before, when we were practically strangers living together.

Jane got up and disappeared from my sight. I guess that was the interaction for the day. I was happy though, there was a lot of progress. Sure, she hadn't looked at me but she offered me food and we had a five second long conversation. If five seconds would be added to our conversaton each day, I'd be fine. Eventually. Even though, I felt a little pathetic how this gave me so much hope. I didn't like this vulnerable state I was in, waiting for someone else to allow me to have a conversation with them. Why did something so stupid hurt so much?

My estranged friend appeared again a minute later with two glasses of soda. Yes, two. I was 89.7% certain that one of those glasses were for me.

"You're being confusing. You won't look at me but you're giving me food and drinks? What do I do in these kinds of situations? Do I silently ignore you while I'm happy with you being so generous? Do I turn down the soda? Is there an etiquette?" I blurted out.

"It's a dilemma." Jane answered casually. She then turned to me for the first time in days. It was like she was searching for something on my face. All she could find was probably some leftover Chinese food because I had trouble keeping it clean while eating. "I'm not mad at you anymore but in order to make it up, I'm gonna have to explain a few things I really don't want to explain." She confessed.

"You don't need to. We can just pretend nothing happened." I suggested. I was more than happy to hear she wasn't mad anymore.

"Right, I almost forgot you didn't do confrontations." Jane said, the corner of her mouth raised just a tiny bit. It was enough to tell me she was slightly amused.

"And you do? You're avoiding talking to me so you won't have to tell me things." I shot back. It was totally such a badass and well-timed thing of me to say. I couldn't help but feel good about that. I could've said something like 'yeah... well, I have hamster cheeks' but I said something relevant instead. Personal growth!

"Shit, you're right." Jane complained.

"I know!" I said but then quickly covered my mouth. So far for my being all poised and wise.