Words

Never the real deal

I feel so empty I'm falling apart,
I can't hear a thing,
My eyesight has gone missing,
I feel numb all over.
I don't want your help,
I just need you to listen,
I'm in a cage but the key is just at my fingertips,
It's tormenting me,
I hate who I'm becoming to be.
I brake down when I look at myself in the mirror,
I hurt when I see my friends,
They all get along but I'm just a third wheel.
I should know that's all I will ever be.
A backup.
A replacement.
Never the real deal.

I HATE
You never see who I really am,
You a smile,
A lie.
You never see the pain or the tears,
You just ignore the scars,
The lifelessness in my eyes.
You hate who I am
And I hate who I've become.
I hate my size,
I hate my thighs,
But more importantly I hate you.
I hate how your always expecting the best,
You want perfection and that's something I don't have.
I stress and I make mistakes but you always have to be all high and mighty.
I'll always be a mistake it's who I am a regret.

DON'T
Don't you dare cry at my grave,
Don't you dare pretended to care,
Don't show me fake sympathy,
I'm not there,
I won't see.
Don't you dare mope around,
Don't you dare wish you could've helped or seen how broken I truly was.
Because you did.
But you chose not to care,
You chose to make fun of me,
You chose to hate me because I was different.
Yet you have the guts to feel hurt,
To feel sad and broken.
But you didn't know me,
You didn't know the things I went through and you have the guts to feel sad that I'm gone.
Well here's a wake up call,
I'm gone and it's partly your fault.
Cause the only feelings you should be feeling is guilt and dread because it was you who made the mistake not me.