Gracie

Chapter 12 - Secrets

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior permission in writing of Sarah-Marie or as expressly permitted by law or under terms agreed with the appropriate reprographics rights organization. Enquiries outside the scope of the above should be sent to the Copyright department Sarah-Marie Productions. First published, London 2013.

Sarah-Marie Productions is a registered trade mark

_________________________

Liam's POV:

I woke Gracie up 30 minutes before I was due on stage, I wanted to give her the option to either watch us perform or stay backstage. Of course Gracie, not being a fan of loud noises and crowds, chose to stay back stage. I didn't mind but it left me trying to find someone to look after her. Lou was the first person I thought to ask. Gracie liked her. She said:

"Yes" immediately.

I couldn't wait to tell Gracie, I knew she would love extra time with the two girls.

The 10 minute call came through. It was time to say bye to Gracie. I looked at her but could not find in her eyes the affection she had previously shown. She was staring at the floor. I tried to give her a hug but she pushed me away. It hurt but I couldn't show it. I watched as Gracie trudged behind Lou and Lux.

Gracie's POV:

On the bus Lou sat between Lux and me, we looked through big colourful books with hundreds of pictures for Lux to admire. She was a clever child and memorised very rapidly the name of all the animals and characters. It was fun. Time soon passed and Lux fell asleep in her Mum's arms.

Lou was an amazing Mum. She gently carried Lux to her cot right next to Lou's bunk. I watched from the lounge as she tucked her in and kissed her head whispering 'love you lots like telly tots'. I wanted a Mum like her.

Lou had decided to change clothes so I waited for her return. I sat in silence for a while but this gave me plenty of time to think. Too much time! My thoughts invaded my mind pushing against each other like cows do when leaving a byre. I had been told to keep so many secrets and so many things to myself, I never released them. Many were questions to which I wanted answers. Some others were secrets too heavy to carry. I just wanted to get them out off my chest. I wanted to share my big secret because it still hurt. I needed someone to know. I thought the pain would ease if only I could tell someone. I felt comfortable enough with Lou so I felt like maybe I could tell her anything.

"Can I tell you something Lou, but you have to promise not to tell the boys, I don't want them to know because they will stop loving me. They will think I am disgusting."

Lou glanced to me:

"They will never stop loving you gorgeous. But I promise I won't tell!"

I remained silent and nervous wondering if I was making the right decision to share something so private, Lou reassured me though:

"You can tell me anything gorgeous"

I wasn't sure how to tell Lou but I had to tell someone, I had never talked about it before.

Lou Teasdale's POV:

When Gracie told me she wanted to talk to me, I knew straight away it was something serious, something very important to her. She looked depressed, nervous, anxious, like I never saw her before, not even during the deepest of her fits. Whatever she had to say merited my whole attention. I was worried I would say the wrong thing and scare her away so I carefully chose my words, encouraging her best I could. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone and I meant it.