I Fell in Love with a King of Narnia (book 3)

chapter 12. confessions

♟Charlotte

I don't know what is wrong with me. One moment I'm fine and suddenly everything finally came crashing into me. It was like getting the wind knocked out of me. A brunt force of some sort just filling my mind with horrible memories. Everything playing out in my head was a nightmare. All of my worst memories, nothing good. Just evil. Just...me.

All I know is one minute I'm standing with my friends in that hold we went down and the next I'm hearing my mother's voice saying my name again. Only this time it was strangled like the sound she made when she was stabbed and killed. It was as if it was on repeat and the anguish in her voice was filling my ears. I couldn't hear anything else. I just wanted it to stop. Seeing everyone's reaction made me feel like I was crazy for hearing the things I was and I know I'm not going mad. I know what I heard. It wasn't a whisper. It was clear to me. All of it was too much and when I was trying to run away from the mother's voice, I slip on the loose rocks.

"Edmund!" I hear Lucy cry as I'm slipping.

Edmund must've seen it.

Everything feels like its moving in slow motion. I'm suddenly grabbed and yanked away from the poisoned water and to safety, but land right onto my back when I fly into the rocks. Almost like getting the wind literally knocked out of me.

I hear a splash then. Ignoring the pain I sit up.

"EDMUND!" I cry out as my eyes open and see I Lucy running over to me. Her figure is blurry from my tears. I feel my heart breaking. I should've stopped being an idiot and told him. He didn't know the truth. The only truth that matters to me. He can't be gone.

"Charlotte!" Lucy cries hugging me, "Thank goodness you're alright!"

"Ed...." I trail off my voice shaky and hoarse.

"I'm alright too Lucy thanks for asking," I hear that familiar voice groan.

I look around Lucy and see Edmund is standing up and stretching his body.

"Edmund, it wasn't my fault your angle was wrong," Lucy replies but I can hear the worry in her voice. "or for the fact that Caspian grabbed Charlotte before you could. If he hadn't Edmund, you wouldn't have made the jump," Lucy finishes but I see her give a shudder at the thought.

I look at Edmund and he gives me a shrug with a lopsided smile. I manage to stand and I run to Edmund and embrace him into a tight hug.

"Edmund," I sigh relieved, "Thank Aslan you're alright!" I exclaim breathlessly hugging him tight.

He stumbles from the impact of the hug, but he returns it. "I thought you were going to fall," he says his hand holding the back of my head.

Being in the safety of his arms has never felt so good, but the realization that Edmund almost died trying to save me brings an old fear back. I had told myself years ago that if it ever came down to saving me or himself, I'd want him to save himself. He just proved to me how dangerous this really is. Look at what happened to Eleanor. She put Peter before herself and now she's gone. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing it was my fault the only boy I've ever loved is dead.

Guilt courses through my mind and chews at my brain. I feel my body shiver and we both quickly pull back. The moment gone as quickly as it came.

I notice Caspian dusting himself off from the dirt and walk over to him,"Thank you Caspian," I say giving him a hug as well.

"I'm glad you're alright," he says and he pulls away.
"Now we still need that sword..." Caspian trails off gazing at the silver sword resting on a rock that isn't too far under the water. It's within reach.