I Want You Back, Cyn

Chapter 2

So here I am, Stuck in the house all by myself...Again. I don't mind not doing anything productive, y'know, but it gets lonely. Of course I have Sean to take care of, Although sometimes parenting can be tough, so that's why we have a nanny for him. I am physically surrounded by people, but I feel like I'm isolated and all on my own. I've actually been feeling like this for a few years and the feeling still hasn't gone away. What's wrong with me?

I feel alone, but I always want to be in my room all of the time and do nothing. I just sit here and dwell on the happy times and the thought of seeing my family again and more importantly, Julian. That boy really needs me. Yoko stopped me from talking to my family and my son. Whenever I wanted to phone them up she'd tell me not to, stupidly I agreed to it. Looking back now, I don't even know why I obeyed her orders. Oh I remember. She drugs me up to control me. Yoko knows how vulnerable I am and sensitive over what happened in my childhood, my Mother dying just made it worse.

We were getting so close to eachother. She was my friend and she encouraged me in my music greatly, in an instant she was taken away from me. I'm still not over it. Yoko uses my vulnerability to her advantage. She manipulates me into getting what she wants and what she wants me to do for her. I guess I'm just a weak person.

Sometimes I look out of the bedroom window and I can see the ships at the docks. It always leaves me wondering if they're traveling back to Liverpool, My home. I miss it so much. I miss my family, my friends and I miss Julian.