Fix Me

Desperate Measures

I am still packing, my room full of boxes that have everything I own; from books to clothes to anything with sentimental value. As I pack, I listen to all my music on shuffle, and skip every song by Panic! At the Disco (I never deleted them, because I like to think about Brendon sometimes).

"Need any help, Sarah?" Dillan asks, walking into my room. He picks up a picture with him, me and our mom in it.

"Yeah. Can you wrap up all the photos and put them in a box labelled fragile?" I tell him, stuffing the last of my clothes into the box I have in front of me.

"Remind me, again, why I can't come with you?" Dillan sighs, wrapping up the picture he has in his hand.

"You need to finish school. I just graduated, and now I'm leaving to escape my past. Don't be like me and dad, Dil, don't run away, go towards your problems and learn how to solve them." I give a sad smile, helping him with the pictures.

"Why don't you take your own fucking advice, Sarah?" He mutters and stomps off. His twelve-year-old brain can't wrap around the idea of his favourite person leaving him, I don't blame him. I don't even fully understand it myself.

*****

I finish packing the last of my boxes and phone Ryan so she can swing by with the trailer. "Hey girl," Tanner answers Ryan's phone. "We'll be there in a few. Bring all your boxes out front." He hangs up and I roll my eyes. Typical Tanner, always in a hurry.

I start with the bigger boxes and make my way to the smaller ones, being careful with the ones labelled fragile. I have all of five boxes so it isn't difficult. As I'm about to bring my last box down, my friends arrive.

"We're here!" Ryan yells, walking through the front door. "Grab your shit and let's get on the road." She picks up one of my boxes and walks out the door. Tanner comes in behind her, grabs another box and walks back out without saying a word.

"Dillan! I'm leaving now." I yell up the stairs, I see Dillan run around the corner and down the stairs.

"I love you." He says, tears streaming down his face. I hug him to me and smooth his hair.

"I love you too. I'll come back and visit." I whisper. We each grab a box and bring it out to the car.

"Drive safe. I'll miss you!" He yells as we drive off down the road, away from our hometown, our families, and everything we've ever known.

The drive is long and tiring, as we stop every two or three hours to switch drivers and go to the washroom. At one of our stops, about ten hours into the drive (so halfway), Ryan announces she found us an apartment last month. Why she waited until now to tell us is beyond me.

"Yeah, I was searching for apartments online, and I came across a three-bedroom that we could afford. It's on 143 Acadia drive. I'm not sure where that is, but they called it an apartment complex." She says to me in the restroom.

I don't care if we're living in a cardboard box, the fact that we actually went through with this is enough for me. "I feel like we're gonna love it there. Ryan, you're the greatest!" I hug her and we meet back up with Tanner to share the news.

After eight more hours of driving, we finally reach the border. "Hello! Are you Canadian citizens?" The border control asks.

"Not yet, no." We all say, in unison. The border control guy looks at us with a smile.

"Do you have a visa to move here?" He asks us, I guess he thinks we wouldn't have thought of this, but we've been working on moving to Canada for a year.

"Yes, we do. And whenever we can take the test, we'll be able to pass it." I say, handing him the papers. It's my responsibility seeing as I'm the one driving.

"The test can be taken any time, passports please." He's pretty friendly. I thought that people at the border would be mean or rude, but he's chill. 

We get let into Canada and switch drivers one more time for the last hour of driving. This has been a long journey, but it's definitely worth it.