so family is an interesting thing. To be honest, I love my family. Although me most certainly aren't perfect we are so much luckier than others and I don't take that for granted. However, sometimes it all gets to be to much. The constant bitching and segueing that has been going on has just gone over the edge. It's hard to see all the people you care about most fall apart and you can't really do anything to help. My mom and brother had a big fight the other day because his ex is bestfriend a with my sister. My sister had been saying stuff about my brother and his ex told him. You see it's all very complicated. He and his ex act as if they are still together when they aren't and it causes a lot of hassle. She is basically a member of the family. It just makes it all more difficult.
My brother seems to find it difficult to channel his rage rationally. Instead of punching a pillow he'd punch a door. Which he has, to almost every door in the house. It's a pretty depressing sight. But I do feel sorry for him. He is just trying to live his life the only way he can. By doing what he feels is right. All that he's gotten is lecture after lecture when in reality it is up to him to make his decisions not anyone else.
They don't, however, need to stick me in the middle. I much prefer the neutral position than bitching and getting in the fight. Yet somehow they are managing to drag me in. This past few months I haven't been my usual self. I have been a lot sadder and a lot less smiley. I blame all the extitential crisis I've been having lately. It was like i was stuck in a pit but just when I thought I'd gotten out, I'd fall straight back in. I feel quite a bit happier now though and have tried to find a little serenity. I praise anime for that, a new obsession to immerse myself in and distract me from the rest of the world. Trust me, I feel much better thanks to all that. Letting yourself fall into a false reality even just for a little while it really is peaceful. Espeically with anime as its a cartoon so it's a complete different world altogether. And I love it.
