4 years ago I found out my dads girlfriend had given birth. It was extremely unexpected for me as I hadn't been informed about this baby before then. It was almost thrown at me. I never met her when she was first born, I didn't want to meet her, for a while. Then one day I decided it was time to face reality. That little baby has no idea that her mother is an arsehole and all of this situation is so fucked up. All she knows is, well, practically nothing at this point. It wasn't her fault and I didn't need to punish her. So then came the day I finally met her. The first time. She was one years old and I was more intimidated by her than anyone. She was only a harmless little baby why was I so nervous? I still don't fully understand especially because she was so lovely. It was weird. Like that's my sister. It never truly dawned on me till then. She was adorable. Not the cutest baby in the world but that didn't matter to me she was so cute. When she first saw me she gave me this funny look like who Tf are you?
Then I 'got to know her' we became so close, as close as a 11 year old and 1 year old could be. She'd come around the corner of my street and already be shouting my name. Like we were best friends. I spent so much time with her with what little time we truly had. I would feed her, help give her a bath. I don't have to help with the nappies (thank god). She was a little sweetie.
When my mom told me she was going to Scotland it didn't really dawn on me exactly what was happening. If I knew the last time I saw her was the last I would've appreciated it so much more. Took it all in, the joy we had at that time, the fun, her little button nose. Now she's 4. My dad and I haven't seen her for 3 years... I miss her every single day and yet I can't Ben talk about her properly. I was the only who got close to her. It was me my dad and her. We were a little crew. I miss it. It pains me knowing she doesn't even know who I am anymore. Her asswipe of a mother took her away from us and we may never get to see her again.
Who'd of thought such a small person could have such a big effect on your life and then just disappear completely, leaving you with this empty hole where they should be.
