Not to be found

Chapter 16 - I don't jump

We spend a few hours walking up in the valley; its beautiful and makes me never want to leave, so picturesque that you wouldn't believe it unless you saw it with your own eyes.

"How about here?" Noah asks.

I'm confused. Have I missed something? "Here for what?"

He takes the rucksack off his shoulders and pulls out a red picnic blanket, setting it out on the grass and gesturing for me to sit down. I sit down and he puts two fingers in his mouth and whistles for Bentley and Hunter to come back.

As he sits down I say, "you didn't have to do this you know?"

He pulls out some sandwiches and some cake, "I think I did, plus I wanted to talk to you about us."

About us? What about us? I mean I suspected that he saw me as something more than a friend and I think I do him, but I don't know if I'm ready for the full on relationship thing just yet. Do I play hard to get? Or just straight out say yes if he asks me to go out with him? I can feel a connection between us but still, oh wow help me!

He looks at me, trying to gage the way that I am feeling; the poor guy doesn't realise that I am a master of emotions, wiping them from my face or covering them up whenever I feel like it or even need to. This is one of those times.

"You've gone quiet. Quiet concerns me," he states, his tone laced with worry.

"Don't let it concern you. Who says that I'm not just quiet to allow you to carry on? what if I'm quiet because I want to hear you continue with the sentence that is dancing on the tip of your tongue?" I plainly ask him, a smile playing on my lips.

Shock spreads across his face, and his eyes widen, "something tells me I've got a lot more to learn about you."

I nod my head in response, "not everything though, I plan on forever remaining a mystery."

He passes the tub of sandwiches across to me and I take one out after thanking him, he straightens his posture, "Gracie," he says releasing a long breathe that I wasn't aware that he was holding, "I'm gonna come out and say it: I like you. You make me feel something, like a warmth every time I see you and I just want to know if you feel it too?"

Shoot. I wasn't expecting a full on feelings spill, damn it. What do I say? Come on you're Gracie Smith, you can do this. I feel it too, I know I do so just admit it. Give the heart what it wants. Shut out the voices and give the heart what it wants for once, a trial if you would?

"I agree I feel it too, I can't quite describe it. But I don't think we should jump into anything this soon. I think that would be a bit too fast," I honestly reply.

A smile breaks out across Noah's face, that face that I honestly can't wait to see everyday since I ran. I don't know why? Its kind of like an expectation now to see him, being that I'm living under the same roof as him it made me feel happy and content that I would see him again. After I left his house and drove back to the woodland car park I kind of hoped that he would want to see me again, I wanted to see him again. I can't put the feeling into words. Its complicated.

"Gracie, that is all I wanted to here. Because I don't jump."

Relief washed over me at his words, I was 19 and had never been in a relationship in my life. Embarrassing because the majority of people my age would have also lost their virginity, but not me. This is all new; the treatment, the feelings and the signs. I was still confused but I definitely felt something more than friendship towards him.

"That's a relief to me because I've never been in a relationship before, so this is all very new to me." I blushed at my choice of words.

His eyebrows knitted together and he looked at me with confusion, sending worry through my mind and also a nervous heat up my back, "I'm sorry," he paused, "you've never been in a relationship?"

I look down at the sandwich in my hand peeling the crusts off and bringing them to my mouth, trying to conjure up the words to explain to him how I've been pushed to the side in my 19 years of life, how I've played matchmaker and how I've been scared. Terribly, terribly scared.

"No...I've kind of played matchmaker. Plus no one has really cared, no one has seen me in that way, I don't blame anyone for that other than myself."

He takes the sandwich out of my hand, taking my hands into his, "You can't blame yourself for that, you've put yourself and your heart aside to help others with there's and I think that's a beautiful thing to do."

I blush, not knowing at all what to say so instead I drag my eyes up from our hands and to his face and just smile. We carry on eating in a comfortable silence our hands still joined.

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We get back to the house at around 4pm, by the time we had finished eating and then walked further than what we originally planned on doing. Every time we passed someone I lowered my head so that I couldn't be recognised, constantly worried that someone would spot me and call me out for being the missing girl on the news. The girl that everyone presumed to be dead. Well FYI I'm not. I just don't want my old existence being known.

I pull my boots off, leaving them on the mat outside the front door. I don't think Mike and Julie would be that impressed with me if I brought mud into their home. I stand outside watching as Noah wipes down Bentley and Hunter's paws allowing them to come into the house after some gentle persuasion from me I got him to bring the dogs in with us. After having their paws wiped they both followed behind me and Noah as we walked into the living room, Julie has a huge smile plastered across her face when she sees me and Noah walk in together. Mike on the other hand has his eyes trained on the dogs,

"Um...ark have you cleaned their paws? you know we had these carpets cleaned just two weeks ago," Mike points out.

Ark? Why did Mike just call his son Ark?

"Yes dad," Noah must somehow read my mind, "and before you ask why he called me ark, its because of Noah's Ark."

"Oh, that makes so much more sense now."  I laugh to myself thinking as to how stupid I am for not realising that in the first place.

I stand just behind Noah with my jacket still wrapped around my body, I shiver as I catch a draft coming through the back door that is still open.

"Gracie dear, are you cold? go and take a hot shower by then dinner will be ready," Julie smiles at me.

I smile back at her, "yeah I am and thank you so much, I'll be down soon," I say before petting both Bentley and Hunter on the head and leaving the room.

I feel their eyes on me as I leave the living room and climb the stairs to my now bedroom, when I reach it I open the door and draw the curtains so that I can't be seen from the outside taking my clothes off. That would be awkward. I turn the lever and the water comes pouring out, I turn the heat up and the bathroom fills with steam. As I stand there my head being hit by a stream of steaming water I feel myself being transported back into my own home. My old home. I let out a small cry when I think about all of the good things that I left behind; mum, dad, university, my home, my self security. All gone.

There's no going back now. I'm in Noah's house again.