Most Random Book Ever.

Christmas is Here

"Will everything be okay? Will I need more cocktails? Is there enough ham for dinner?" she wondered.

Today was Christmas Eve. She was going to throw a Christmas Party for her friends, The Beatles. Only God knows how many friends they'll bring along. She swore she'll run out of everything and they'll be asking for more! All while sitting on tha toilet. (Get it?)

Soon, the doorbell of the apartment rang. Furiously. She washed her bum, then went to the front door. "Who is it?"

"It's bloody Lennon for Christ's sake," he shouted.

She opened the door to find him. "Hi! Welcome."

"Thanks Jane," John thanked, "but first, you gotta close the curtains of this apartment 'till nighttime. Who knows if some bloody fan comes screaming for us."

"You're right, love. Come in!"

...

After a good 'ol conversation, the two heard a sound in the kitchen.

"Oh my God, you hear that, John?"

"Yeah, Jane. Must just be somethin'"

"I'll go check it out." Jane started slowly tiptoeing towards the "haunted" kitchen. The feeling was tense. Tenser, tenser...

"My God Jane are you going to go there or what?" John said in a mocking(jay) way.

"Holy s**t John I'm trying to focus on the sit'wation 'ere!"

"Ya John!" a voice said.

"Oh my gosh waht was that?!?"

And as she's getting ready to go, a sandwich comes on the floor...

"Ah crap," George groaned, "it ain't easy..."

"Wow," John said from the couch, sarcastically, "that's how you surprise Jane Asher. Wow. Wow..."

Jane wasn't surprised. Sandwiches were always something George Harrison eats at least every other day. And in the kitchen, obviously. How does he eat so much, but gain so little?

"Hey Geo."

"Hey," she said, "I wanted to surprise you, so... Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas too."

"Well, I prepared," he unraveled something big, "a gift for you. Here."

"Oh thanks Georgie pie!" she said. She was temped to open the gift but ultimately put it underneath the Christmas Tree. "Wow, it's quite heavy."

Suddenly, instant banging on the door was heard. "Help! I need somebody! Help! Not just anybody! Help! You know-"

"I got it Ringo dammit!" Jane complained. Yes, it was Ringo. Banging on the door. Screams of children (erm, ladies) had been getting more apparent. 

"Help me Jane! Their gonna eat me as fast as George eats his jelly babies! Help!" George laughed a little, 'cause that's what every George Harrison does.

"Oh won't you shut up! I'm opening the door!" Jane furiously twisted the key to the right side (both kinds of right) and opened the door, letting Richard in before any screamin' girl could get him.

"Thank. God," he said in between breaths, "They almost ripped off my shirt!"

"Good for you," John said quietly with an evil smirk,"but where's Paul?"

"Ya, where is he?"

"Erm, Jane... I have a gift for you..."

You could hear quiet-loud whispers from George and John. What was that all about, Jane thought.

"But it's quite heavy, so won't you help me out?"

"Mkay Ringo."

They approached the present where it seemed like it was there a while ago. Wasn't that George's gift? she thought. But she had to push that out of her mind because they were going to open it. It was sunset then anyway.

Ringo did a countdown. "3...2...1....... Surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Jane could not believe what she had seen. It was Paul. In the big present the other lads had prepared. The first thing Jane did was hug him and kiss him. 

"'Ello luv. How ya doin'?" he greeted as they pulled away.

She was awed. She couldn't even speak.

"How....."

"It was planned from the very moment I went in, Jane," John responded, "We all planned on me arriving normally, casually hahaha, then George with the present with a sandwich. Then we actually sent Ringo down to the streets with no protection, so he can run to the party and open it. Yeah."

"Jane, I was-"

"He was starving," George interrupted," that's for sure."

"Now won't we have that Christmas Party now?"