She's Having My Baby: A 12 Days of Christmas Special

Not The Same

December 15th

Maya's alarm went off at 5:00 AM, but she couldn't seem to stop pressing the snooze button. She finally rolled out of bed at 5:30, awoken only by April's cries.

As Maya changed April's diaper, she tried to remember the last time she actually felt well-rested. She decided it must have been before she found out she was pregnant. Since then there was always a reason she wouldn't get a full night's sleep. First it was the worry of telling people she was having a baby that would keep her awake, then it was the discomfort of carrying said baby inside her, and now that the baby was born Maya was woken up a minimum of twice per night.

She dressed April in a pink dress and brought her to the living room to feed her. With April in her arms and a history book on the table in front of her, Maya spent the last fifteen minutes before she had to leave for school cramming for a test she had completely forgotten about. April may not have been a good sleeper, but at least she was a good feeder. She always took her bottle without protest and Maya appreciated it greatly.

"Mom, I'm leaving." Maya banged on her mother's door with the same greeting as every morning.

"Hang on," her mother shouted back.

Her mother opened the door in her dark blue fleece pajamas and reached out for the baby.

"I'll take her to daycare at twelve," Katy confirmed.

"Lucas was at work this morning so he's gonna pick her up after school. I told him he can bring her here or to his place. I'm working until seven," Maya said as she kissed her daughter goodbye.

"See you later then."

"Later," Maya called on her way out the door.

Maya hated leaving her baby every morning. Something just felt so wrong about it. She knew there was nothing she could do about having to go to school, but she still felt guilty that she couldn't stay with April all the time.

As she walked to school in the freezing cold, Maya thought about Lucas's party invitation. She also thought about how awful it is to feel insecure about your own child. Maya was normally all about facing her fears and moving on, but this seemed like more than that. People had been tiptoeing around her for months now, trying not to bring up anything about her pregnancy or her new baby. And anyone who wasn't tiptoeing just threw around insults. Thankfully that didn't happen very often, but Maya really felt her self-esteem couldn't take any more judgement.

Lucas's was the first face she saw as she made her way to her locker that morning.

"Morning," he said kindly.

"Hey."

"How was she this morning?"

"She was fine. Took her bottle like a pro and didn't wake me up until 5:30. That is, if you don't count the one o'clock and three o'clock wake-ups," Maya told him.

"Tired?"

"Always. Are you still good to pick her up today?" Maya asked.

"Yeah. So, have you given any more thought to bringing April to the party?"

Before Maya could answer, Riley appeared from behind her.

"Hey! I was thinking, I feel like we haven't hung out in so long. Why don't you come over after work?" Riley suggested to Maya.

"I can't Riley. After work I have to pick April up from Lucas's."

"Why don't you both come?" Riley suggested.