Cheradine - Complicated Feelings

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

A few weeks on and the girls found themselves at last having a weekend off, as all the songs had been recorded and the next week was dedicated to putting the album together. This is going to include choosing the album tracks and the ones that will be released as singles, an album cover shoot, video shoot and cover shoot for the track chosen as their first single back. So the girls had decided they would meet up that evening at Sarah’s to get ready for going out, which they knew would involve a lot of alcohol and dancing. Kimberley was at Cheryl’s home relaxing with her and having some down time, drinking tea and chatting.

“It feels like ages since we’ve had some time to ourselves.” Kimberley sighed, stretching her arms above her head and then shifting her position to get really comfy on Cheryl’s sofa, holding a hot cup of tea.

Cheryl was sitting opposite her on the sofa, taking a sip from her drink she wondered if Kimberley was referring to her and Cheryl or just themselves individually, “Yer but working in the studio has been a lot of fun though.” Even though Cheryl loved the days off they got, she didn’t like the fact she wouldn’t be spending the whole day with Nadine, she sighed to herself she would have to make do with a drunk Nadine later on this evening.

Kimberley smiled wickedly, “well of course you’ve found the studio time a lot of fun.” The older girl was thinking about all the time Nadine and Cheryl would muck around in the studio together, trying as hard as they could to make each other laugh whilst singing, or the cute the little moments they have whilst chatting until one of the girls would walk in on them. Kimberley found most often than not it would be her that would interrupt the moment, although she was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen between the two girls. She could see that Nadine and Cheryl still hadn’t realised the true extent of their feelings for each other, it was obvious neither of them had acted upon them. She found herself having a number of conversations with Sarah and Nicola about it; they had all agreed that what was happening between Cheryl and Nadine was a good thing. The cuteness between the two girls made them utterly lovable, for that reason Sarah, Nicola and Kimberley definitely wanted them to grasp their feelings for each other. There was the problem that both girls were in relationships, but the other three girls had agreed not to get involved but to merely support the girls.

Cheryl looked at Kimberley in complete confusion, “huh?” raising her eyebrow, she really didn’t know what her older best friend was trying to suggest.

Kimberley laughed softly at the confusion written across Cheryl’s face, “oh just all the time you and Nadine spent together laughing. I just assumed you must have enjoyed it a lot.” She explained to the Geordie giving her a suggestive look.

Cheryl’s brow furrowed in thought, was Kimberley trying to suggest there was something between her and Nadine, or was she merely pointing out that they had a lot of fun together. It was true, she had a lot fun spending time with Nadine in the recording studio, she didn’t even know how they managed to. Some days she would walk in very tired and in a bit of a grump but as soon as she saw Nadine flash her one of her charming smiles she couldn’t help but be put into a good mood. She knew Nadine was the same way, she’d seen firsthand the effect her dimpled smile had on Nadine. Therefore it was very rare that either of them wouldn’t be happy whilst recording and that also had a positive effect on the other girls, and there was certainly an air of pure happiness surrounding the girls with whatever they were doing.

Kimberley ruffled the younger girl’s hair as she saw her deep in thought; recently she noticed any mention of Nadine and Cheryl would fall into deep thought. She wondered if it would be Cheryl to be the first one to realise her feelings, she certainly hoped so as she had a bet with Sarah and Nicola. Nicola was certain it would be a drunken kiss that would make the girls realise, Sarah was backing Nadine to work it out first and Kimberley backed her best friend to be the girl to realise that her and Nadine had been falling in love. The three girls had wondered if it was harsh to bet on their friends budding relationship, but they had decided if Cheryl and Nadine were having fun, they should be allowed some fun from it as well.

Cheryl turned to look at Kimberley as she ruffled her hair; she could see a knowing glint in Kimberley’s eyes and wondered what she was thinking about. “Sorry I’m away with the fairies today.” Cheryl felt bad she hadn’t spent as much time with Kimberley on their own as they used to and all she was doing now was silently thinking to herself. Cheryl thought about telling Kimberley about her confusing feelings towards Nadine and how they seemed to develop another dimension to their friendship which Cheryl didn’t understand yet loved, but she didn’t expect Kimberley to know the answer so she didn’t bother the older girl with her thoughts.

Kimberley smiled at the sweetness of Cheryl, “don’t worry babe, it’s nice to be able to relax and just chill. You don’t have to be chatting all the time love.” Kimberley gave Cheryl’s arm a light squeeze, the look on Cheryl’s face was one of someone being lost and Kimberley hated that she couldn’t help her. But she had agreed with Sarah and Nicola that they wouldn’t get involved or say anything unless Cheryl or Nadine asked.

Cheryl raised her hand on top of Kimberley’s hand that was on her arm and gave it a thankful squeeze. “I love you Kimba, you’re always here for me.” Cheryl put her arms out to hug Kimberley.

The older girl took Cheryl in her arms, “I love you too babe. But what’s wrong?” Kimberley softly stroked Cheryl’s hair as she wondered what the younger girl was going to say to her, as Kimberley was still pretty sure that Cheryl hadn’t realised that she was actually in love with Nadine.

Cheryl shrugged, resting her head on Kimberley’s chest, “that’s the thing KImba, I don’t know. I just feel lost but then confused. Yet I swear I have no reason to be.” It was funny, whenever Cheryl was with Nadine she never had these feelings, she always felt very content. Yet when away from Nadine she just wanted to be with her, and didn’t feel the same without her, it was like she needed her. Then slowly it dawned on Cheryl, she was falling for her Irish friend.

Kimberley smiled sadly, she felt bad that was Cheryl was feeling down, yet she was pretty sure Cheryl was starting to realise her feelings for Nadine. “Well babe, if there’s anything at all, and I mean literally anything, you want to tell me you know you always can. I will never judge. I hate seeing you down and not your bubbly self.” The older girl gave Cheryl a light squeeze and placed a light friendly kiss on the girls head.

Cheryl slowly contemplated her feelings for Nadine, the way she loved the girl’s smile, her individual take on the Irish accent, her long luscious hair, her endless tanned legs from the LA sun, the way she was so expressive with her hands and facial expressions, the way Nadine would look at her and make her feel like she was the only person on in the entire universe that matter. And that was when she slowly realised, she wasn’t falling in love with Nadine. She loved Nadine. And yet suddenly guilt seeped into her thoughts, she was married. Yes to a man who had cheated on her, but they had agreed to work through it and stick to their vows and she couldn’t complain about him, he was so lovely to her. But she had fallen out of love with him; she acted like she loved him as it was how she was meant to. Yet she knew her heart now completely and utterly belonged to the Irish girl that she couldn’t have. They were best friends, band mates and she had a boyfriend even though she was a commitment phobe she was still with him, which must mean she loved him.  Cheryl felt like crying, she was sure being in love wasn’t meant to feel like this, in the movies Nadine would have fallen for her as well, yet Cheryl was convinced she wouldn’t feel the same way. To Nadine Cheryl would just be her best friend, well that’s what Cheryl thought.

Kimberley looked down at Cheryl in her arms to see that she was about to cry, “Cheryl babe, what is it? Please tell me so I can try to help you.” The older girl asked whilst stroking Cheryl’s arms and making the younger girl look her in the eye, so she could see she just wanted to help her.

Cheryl looked in Kimberley’s caring eyes and had to tell her. “I love Nadine.” With that Cheryl burst into tears.