Cheradine - Complicated Feelings

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Later on in the afternoon after the two new love birds had finally managed to get fed, washed and dressed without distracting each other, they were cuddled up on Nadine’s sofa with the tv on; but they were paying far more attention to each other. Nadine was lying in Cheryl’s arms softly drawing patterns on Cheryl’s arm, her head snuggled into the older girl’s neck allowing her to take in the girl’s appealing aroma. Cheryl had her arms wrapped around Nadine’s waist and every now and then placed loving kisses on the younger girl’s forehead.

The older girl found the intimacy between her and Nadine blissful; she had definitely never experienced anything like it before, it was something completely different from what she experienced with Ashley and she loved it. The thought of Ashley made her feel a pang of guilt, she had always spoke out about cheaters saying how awful they were and now she found herself doing exactly what Ashley had done to her. Even though she felt something incredible with Nadine and she knew she unconditionally loved more than she could have imagined, it didn’t stop the horrible memories of how she felt when it came out Ashley had cheated on her. Never had she felt so insignificant, all her childhood insecurities came flooding back and she found it the hardest thing to eat, the older girl wasn’t stupid she knew she had lost a worry amount of weight. Yet everything the girls tried didn’t help to cheer her up, at that time all she could think was that she wasn’t good enough for Ashley. She sighed sadly at the memory of all the girls and her mother rallying around her, if it wasn’t for them she didn’t think she would have ever got through that horrid time. Cheryl smiled sadly at the memory of going on holiday to LA with Nicola and Kimberley, it was a group decision to have a break and take her mind off all the public attention and everything else that was happening. Sarah would have joined the girls but she had an important family commitment to make, therefore it was Cheryl, Kimberley and Nicola that flew out to see Nadine. The older girl remembered how the press all reported that they hadn’t visited Nadine on their holiday, it angered her greatly how the press always tried to undermine the Irish girl’s relationship with the other girls. What the press reported couldn’t be further from the truth, the girls actually stayed at Nadine’s house and spent nearly all their time with her. Cheryl wondered if was the time when her and the younger girl’s relationship started to change; as Nadine stayed up with her for most of the night as Cheryl couldn’t get over the time difference for most of their stay. The Geordie remembered how Nadine would lie awake stroking her hair talking about the most random topics until she would eventually fall asleep and Cheryl would always wake up in Nadine’s arms feeling safe.

Nadine could sense a change in Cheryl’s mood, the younger girl had always found it easy to read Cheryl, it was like she was an open book to her; “babe what’s on your mind?” she asked softly whilst turning slightly in the older girl’s arms so she could look at Cheryl, her beauty momentarily taking her breath away, it was something she still couldn’t get used to.

Cheryl was taken from her thoughts by the most individual accent she had ever heard, the sound she loved more than anything else; “it doesn’t matter” she lied, she didn’t know why she did, she knew that Nadine would never be convinced.

Nadine softly rolled her eyes at the older girl, she didn’t know why Cheryl had even bothered trying to lie to her, “well that’s a lie.” The younger girl stated, lifting her head up from resting on Cheryl and lightly placed a caring kiss on the older girl’s lips. “Spill.” She demanded softly, whilst looking into Cheryl’s eyes, she could see a hint of sadness which pulled at her heart strings making her instantly feel animosity at whatever was causing the older girl to be sad.

Cheryl smiled softly at Nadine’s caring yet demanding behaviour, “I was just remembering mine, Kimba and Nic’s trip to LA to see you.” A sad expression slowly covered the older girl’s face, she found it impossible to cover up her feelings when she was with Nadine.