Impractical Jokers, Practically

Chapter Nine

"Murr, why did you do that? Why....why did you kiss me?"

He wasn't answering me. After Sal hit him, Murr just stood there, not moving. Silent. 

Madison looks upset and Sal keeps looking back and forth, taking turns glancing at me and glaring at Murray. 

I need to figure this out. "James?"

Finally, he looks up at the sound of me saying his first name. Confusing and distressed is how I would describe the emotions on his face. He opens his mouth then shuts it. 

Sal jumps in, "What, suddenly now you're at a loss for words? Suddenly, you don't know what to do? That's ironic since two seconds ago you were just kissing Alexa!" His hands make fists at his side but he doesn't move.

Finally, Murray speaks. "I--I wasn't thinking. Alexa was just standing there and she was flirting and looked so beautiful and...Like I said, I wasn't thinking of what I was doing. I just acted." 

Madison sinks down on to a bar stool, not saying anything just observing. 

"Dude, she's drunk. This obviously wasn't the right time to kiss her, what the fuck? She had too much to drink and was acting silly. And you shouldn't have even kissed her anyways. You had no right to---" 

"No right to what, Sal? You know what, man? This is ridiculous. You're just jealous. All you are is fucking jealous that I kissed her first before you did." 

"Wait, stop. Hold on." I needed to think about this. My head was swimming and I didn't know if it was from the alcohol or from what happened. Also, I didn't want Sal and Murr to fight. "James, I don't know what you want me to say..."

Murray looks at me with an eager face and says, "Do you like me? Because I wanted to kiss you. And I want it to feel right, not wrong. I want you to feel like it was right."

Everyone is anticipating my answer. Madison looks concerned, Murr looks eager, and Sal looks upset. That frightened look is back on his face. I wonder why that is? What is going on that Sal feels scared?

"Look, I--I like you." Before I can continue, I see Madison frowning, Murr smiling, and Sal looking like he's about to cry. "Wait, let me finish. Murr, I like you, but as a friend. Best friend. And that kiss doesn't change anything. I mean, it's a little awkward now. Madison likes you." 

Murr looks shocked then, confused, he looks up at Madison. She gives him a small wave and says, "Hi, yup, it's true."

"Listen, you're my best friend. That won't change. You will always mean a lot to me. Not in the way you want it. I'm sorry. But Madison is a great girl. Get to know her." I smile, trying to defuse the situation. 

Murray looks at me, and says, "I understand." Then he takes Madison's hand, shakes it and goes, "Do you want to start over? Hi, I'm James Murray, but you can call me Murr."

Madison shyly smiles and replies, "Hi, Murr. I'm Madison."

She stands up from the bar stool and, as her and Murr leave the bar, I hear Madison say, "Did you know that you're my favorite on the show?" They disappear from view. 

Relieved, I look at Sal and say, "Well, I'm glad that's settled. Madison and Murr make a cute couple. Maybe he'll be okay since that he has her." 

Sal tries to smile but fails. "Hey." I walk up closer to him. "What's wrong?" 

"I thought--I was afraid you were going to tell him that you like him. Maybe you liked the kiss and you wanted him?" 

Sal and I are so close I can feel the shakiness of his breath. Feeling bold, I take his hand in mine. I intertwine my fingers with his as I simply say, "Sal." That's it. One word. One word, and he knows. Sal looks at me as if I just found the cure for cancer. He squeezes my hand. He can tell how I feel about him just from the way I say his name. 

I continue, "Don't worry. That kiss felt off. Like, I didn't get any romantic vibes from it at all. And besides, I couldn't do that to Madison. We just spend the whole day talking about how she really likes Murr." I pause, lick my lips, and say, "It's you. You Sal. You're the one who I want. I like you. A lot. An awful lot. I may care about all of you guys, but you're special to me. You're not a brother, or a friend, you're so much more." 

Sal lets go of my hand so that he can grab my wrist, pulls me even closer to him, and he says, "Ugh, Alexa. It feels so good to hear you say that. So fucking good. You mean it? You really mean that?"

"Yes, yes of course. Hey, why did you look so scared when Murray kissed me? So frightened?"

"I was afraid because you didn't remember what we talked about last night. About how you like me and I like you? And then today I saw how upset you were that I invited Madison over. I thought you would be mad at me because you didn't know that I was only helping Madison. And when Murray kissed you, I was afraid that you would feel something, and like him so much, that you would throw your feelings for me out the window." Sal says this all in a couple of breaths. He continues, "You're damn right I was upset. Petrified. Didn't want to lose you. To my best friend of all people." He rubs his thumb against mine. 

"Sal, I was going to tell you. I remember last night. At the bar? I remember everything. I still feel the same way. And I know about Madison. Everything's figured out. Don't worry. Let's go home."

He smiles, "Yeah, drunky, good idea. Hey, make sure this time to actually remember this conversation." 

I give him a look. 

He grins. "Only half joking. Kind of. Let's go." 

~~~

I wake up to Sal holding me in his arms, tight, like he's afraid to let go. I stir a little, my leg fell asleep, and it wakes him up. He sleepily looks at me and says, "Morning." When I don't say anything, he frowns and goes, "Alexa? Oh my goodness Alexa, you better remember. Don't do this to me again."

I wait for a second longer, just for fun, then say, "You're cute when you're upset. Yes, don't panic, this time I do remember. Good morning!" 

"Ugh, babe. Don't do that again. Scared me." 

He called me babe. Sal Vulcano called me babe! I'm freaking out in my head, but try to play it cool in front of him. "Let's go see what the guys made for breakfast." 

We go downstairs and I see Madison in the kitchen and the others in the living room. Hmm, seems like Madison spent the night. I smile to myself.

"Okay guys, I have to say something important and everyone better hear it." Sal waits for Joe, Q, Murr, and then Madison to look at us before continuing. "Alexa and I are, um, together and it's awesome and the best thing ever and if any one of you ruin it, I will fucking knock you out. Okay? And since Alexa's mine, no one better look at my girl. You know what I mean. I'm talking to you two, James and Brian." 

Joe is the first to speak. "Whoa, wait up rewind for a sec. First of all, congrats guys, finally. Second, what makes you so sure that you can trust me?" Joe winks at me. 

"Because I know you like that Bessy girl." 

"Oh, true."

"I said Murray because he kissed Alexa last night. And I mentioned Q because he's a player like that." Sal gives Q a "I mean it" look. 

Q holds his hands up and says, "Okay, okay, understood. Hey, what's this about Murray and Alexa? Alexa, he kissed you?"

Murr jumps in. "Uh, can we not talk about that? It's all water under the bridge. Besides, I'm with Madison." He grins as he pulls Madison towards him in a side hug. 

Q observes, "Hey, what's this? Sal has Alexa and Murr has Madison. Joe, you gotta seal the deal with Bessy. And then...I'm alone. Great." We all laugh. 

Congratulations are given and and only happy conversations are discussed over breakfast. I'm still freaking out that Sal called me his girl and that I was his. I'll never get tired of hearing that. I look around at my friends, and I think to myself, it can't get any better than this. This whole back and forth thing with me and Sal has finally come to an ending. A happy ending. 

Or so I thought.