Impractical Jokers, Practically

Chapter Twenty-Five

The guy's veins on his arms were popping out, he was so angry. 

I can't believe that we're in this mess. All because Q wanted to try to pick up a girl while wearing a wedding ring. "Girls want what they can't have." And Kristen either went along with it or played Q. Now her husband, this menacing stranger, is sincerely ticked off. 

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't fuck you up. One good reason."

I try to keep the situation calm. "Look, I think this is all some sort of misunderstanding..."

"Misunderstanding? Did your punk care about anything other than getting into my wife's pants? Huh? I don't think there's any misunderstanding there." He's chuckling dryly, but it's sort of like a mock laugh. A taunting one. 

I look around, taking in our surroundings. Some people were looking at us with confused expressions and curious looks on their face, but most were not even glancing in our direction. Just another night out on the town, seemingly. At least the bartenders were too busy tonight to even notice us. I'm aware that it's a good thing, otherwise we'd be kicked out. But it's also bad, because we might need the aid of the workers to throw this guy out. 

It's only me, Sal, and Q. Murr and Joe are who-knows-where. 

"Our friend here--our dumb, stupid friend--was only trying to have a good time." Sal's trying to explain. "Some harmless flirting, enjoying the night out, and that's it."

The glare from Kristen's husband is intense. "Oh, that's it, yeah? That's all there is to it? So, I shouldn't be furious anymore? Listen, your friends messed with the wrong person. Now, someone's gotta pay." 

And it looked like he meant it. Every word. 

Q's not saying anything. He's barely comprehending what's going on, he's too drunk. He's limply hanging there, barely standing, and I notice that I'm still holding on to his arm. 

Sal's fists are clenched tightly and I now when he get's mad, he's really strong and tough. I've seen him fight many times--usually over me, I think to myself sadly. Even so, he might be no match for this guy. And I have to do something before this gets out of hand. 

I let go of my hold on Q, making sure that's he's still standing upright. He is, but his eyes look glossy. So even though he's watching all this unfold, he's not consciously taking anything in all that well. 

I step closer to Sal, making sure that I'm in Husband's line of sight. 

I want him to pay attention to me, not Sal. I don't want Sal punching him anymore than I want him fighting Sal. 

The bar-goer is not giving up that easily.  Looking at Sal, he says, "How would you like it if I hit on your girl here? I don't know if she's married to this asshole or if she's screwing with you, but maybe I could try her out too. Hmm?"

Sal takes a step forward, but I lightly grab his arm and push him back. 

I lick my lips and point at Q. "Listen, he's not even married. Anymore. I'm not married to him and he's not married to me. He had the wedding ring, he wanted to play some silly little game, see if it worked. He didn't know Kristen was married. I didn't even know when I saw them together. And, if you noticed, I pulled him away, trying to get him back to our friends."

The husband isn't letting this go, clearly. He's rolling his eyes, and when he cracks his knuckles, that's when Sal steps more in front of me, blocking me. 

Basically, it doesn't matter what any one of us says. This guy isn't leaving here without a fight. That's all he wants. He doesn't even care about logic at this point. He's looking for an altercation.