Impractical Jokers, Practically

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Tears are lightly cascading down Sal's handsome face and there's nothing I want to do more than hold him, but I resist. 

"I'm sorry, Sal. So sorry. I didn't remember anything after waking up and--and I didn't want to cause you more pain by telling you. I've already h-hurt you enough as it is and I just prayed that I would get the memories back and it would be fine anyways." I'm rambling, but I'm nervous. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. 

"You--You could have told me."

"I know, I know, baby. But I didn't want to let you down," I say desperately. 

"Let me down?" Sal's voice is trembling. "Your blackouts are so bizarre. I can see you not remembering the night before, but most of the day too?" He shakes his head like he can't believe it. "I proposed to you and you don't remember. We had sex...and you don't remember. And you did end up letting me down anyways. By lying to me." 

I sigh, realizing he's right. I upset him no matter what I do. "I guess either way I was going to make you upset. I only was trying...I only wanted to do the right thing. But I--I couldn't keep lying to you, not after the way you were looking at me." I look down, realizing that I still have the wedding dress on. Considering the tension between Sal and me, and our argument, I feel kind of silly wearing it. 

"This is partly my fault."

I look up, perplexed. What is he saying?

His mouth opens, then closes, then opens again. "I can see why you were confused and afraid to tell me the truth. I understand. But, no more. No more secrets and hiding things from me. From now on, we tell each other the truth, okay?" 

I'm nodding my head. "O-Okay. Agreed." 

"I mean it. We tell each other everything. We don't keep things from each other. If we're going to be husband and wife--" Sal cuts off, his eyes grow misty again. He tries once more, "We're going to be married pretty soon. I don't want my wife lying to me, even for my benefit." 

"I get it. But, Sal, what do you mean, this is partly your fault?" 

He sighs heavily, then rubs his hand down his face. "I should have known. We drank together. I was watching you drink all that alcohol. I should have realized...I should have known that there was a strong possibility you would forget everything after waking up. I wasn't thinking." 

"My blackouts only happen once every couple of times. There's no way you could have known that this particular time--"

"I should have been smarter. I could have stopped us, but I didn't. We were having so much fun and..." His eyes grow dark. "Not that you would remember."

I feel like shit again. "Sal, believe me, I don't do it on purpose. I didn't ask for this--"

"Didn't ask for what? Yesterday--last night--it was one of the best nights of my life, and you don't fucking. Remember. Anything." He pauses in between those last few words, taking deep breaths, then, he laughs bitterly, "If anything, I didn't ask for this." Sal looks like he's about to turn around and leave, but I stop him.

I stumble forward, gripping his wrist, and hold on so that he can't go anywhere. He looks down at my hand, then back up at my eyes, waiting. I sigh, "Look, I didn't want this to happen. I'd be very much okay if all this didn't happen." 

"Okay. So you wished that us being engaged didn't happen. Got it." 

"What? Sal, no, that's not what I meant."

He continues on, "If you don't mind, I'll keep the house and live here. On my own. You can go back and live with the others."

"Would you just listen--"