Bleeding Heart falls again

Chapter 4 - The Meeting

"How was your weekend, Samantha?"

"Fine"

"How was your sleep?"

"Not this again, Natalie! I slept FINE! What is with you and sleep?", I answered annoyingly.

"It's not me, it's what is wrong with YOU and sleep that concerns me. I have told you time and time again that your body needs rest. Your brain needs to rest to work efficiently. Have you been taking the pills I prescribed you?"

I sigh loudly, "yes, I do take them but not regularly, they make me sleepy."

Dr. Natalie makes an 'are-you-kidding-me-face' and replies, "they are sleeping pills, Samantha. That's what they do!"

"Yeah well, I can't work if I am sleepy all the time. And I am sleeping better now, I don't need them anymore, believe me."

"The bags under your eyes tell me a different story". I humph, "Oh, come on, I am telling you I am better now".

"Ok, if you say so. But you need to sleep properly, alright?" "Fine", I frown.

"Are you still having the nightmares?" I fidget nervously at the Doctor's question."Ok, I'll take that as a yes. Are they still coming that often and of the same intensity?"

"Umm...umm..." I try looking around the room and my manicured fingers become the most interesting piece of art in the world just then.

Dr. Natalie presses on and I reply nervously, "I-uh, I get them twice or thrice a week only now.

Sometimes it's just darkness and then that fuzzy feeling followed by me being pulled into light."

And that's when I zoned out. I looked at every corner of the ceiling, counted and recounted the number of tiles in the room, while Dr. Natalie kept on blabberring about how to think positively and blah blah blah.

"Ok I guess we are done for today. Have a nice day, Samantha", I nodded, picked up my purse and walked out of the room.

I took a deep breath once I was out and weird hospital and sickness smell stinged in my nose. I started checking my mails on my blackberry as I was walking towards the exit door of the hospital.

"Free samples of dog shampoo. Delete. Dinner for two. Delete. Make your man happy. Delete. Latest report - Drug Tx23. Yeah that's more like it.Talking to myself, oh yeah!" I guess no matter how much life changes me, I will still be the same old Sammy Green on the inside.

I was walking, scrolling down and thoroughly going through the report when I tripped on my ridiculously expensive stillettos and squealed loudly.

In my stupid micro-fall, my mind was being its usual stupid self, 'ok yayyy, I finally get to die and no-one can say it was suicidal.

My head's gonna hit hard against the marbled floor and squish squash my brain matter is gonna be everywhere and I'll die bleeding to death' My conscious self fist pumps in the air!

And my fate once again is against me and I feel grabbed mid-air around my waist by strong, muscular arms.

I open my eyes fully intending to give a dangerous glare at the person who ruined my plan but I find myself looking into round, big, chocolatey brown eyes which shine with an orange fire like colour under the light.

Quick. Think. where have I seen them. Where have I seen those eyes.

__________________

*memory flashback*

I was being literally dragged out of my house in Yorkshire by my crazy ass girlfriends. Nims and Ana dressed me up like I was their personal barbie. Reminding me of the carefree days of my childhood. Sara did the unbelievable and 'cooked' a yummy Alfredo pasta despite her being the worst cook in the world.

Dani kept talking to me about books and movies because she knew I how excited we used to get whenever we were talking about them. But she couldn't lift my mood up. Hell, no-one could. It had just been a month since Jared died.

We were going over to a club in the town. We all settled in Ana's car and the girls tried to sing along a random gay song on the radio , totally off-tune.

In normal circumstances I would have laughed and joined in singing in an awful high itched nasal sound but...it was like part of me died with him. I know it's not physically possible and people just laugh when they hear such stuff but the one who goes through; is more like in hell before death!

They parked a little distance away from the club and we had to cross the road. It was 9pm and the roads were full of heavy traffic.

Everybody must be out; enjoying with their boyfriends, friends, cousins, kids, husbands...

Just thinking about the word 'family' welled my eyes with tears. Why me?

It was my new hobby now. Asking myself, 'why me?' 'what did I do to deserve this?' 'why couldn't it be me instead of Jared?'

The girls quickly filed out and headed towards the club to get the best table. I was just following behind, dragging myself while I kept my head down. I had zoned out. I was just relaying the events of my wedding day in my head.

Rethinking with every different scenario possible; how I could have saved him, how could I have taken the bullet for him. The picture of him lying in my lap soaked with blood, it just wouldn't go away.

I was mindlessly walking lost in my own bubble when out of the blue something hard collided with my chest and strong muscular arms held my waist tightly and we were in air for a few mins and thrashed down on the concrete with the man taking the collision for me.

I have no real life example to compare the mixed feelings I had at that moment. It was more like a mix of italian, indian, japanese food garnished with gooey uncooked ostrich egg.

Disgusted, surprised, thankful, depressed, shitty, excited??!!

I opened my eyes and realised I was lying flat on this huge guy's chest with his arms enveloping my waist protectively.

He was panting really hard like he had been running a while ago. I looked up at his face and behold, I was looking into mesmerizing chocolatey brown eyes with a mischievous orange glint under the street lamp.