If I Could Fly // c.t.h.

calum.

I don't know what the fuck came over me. All I know is that Holly was just standing there and all I could think was...

She's beautiful.

I hadn't meant to say it out loud, but I thought she deserved to know. Even if she already knew, she deserves to have it be told to her. I usually never call girls beautiful - mostly hot as hell - but Holly... she had a greater meaning. She's beautiful.

Suddenly I had gotten nauseous, so I silently excused myself and stalked over to the assumed nearby bathroom. Locking the door, I sat on the toilet and took a deep breath. Well, tried to.

It's hard to breathe when I know such beauty is in the same hotel room as me.

Goddammit, Calum. What the hell are you on?

Maybe they put weird drug shit in the airplane food, and that's why I'm acting so strange. I don't feel isolated like I often (everyday, actually) feel; in fact, I feel like someone's taking a bat and smashing my walls in.

And that person is Holly. But little does she know is that these walls are eventually going to cave in and collapse on top of me, suffocating my lungs and finishing me off.

This just happened suddenly, and I don't know how the fuck I should deal with it. Holly hates my fucking guts and for some reason that sometimes makes me sick to my stomach, because I don't want her to hate me despite all the shit I tell her. But when we're at each other's throats, I feel compelled to continue the game we both made up. I want to win, even though I know I always lose in the end because she's too damn clever for me and I'm an asshole and she's beautiful and I'm just cold hearted and she deserves someone more worthy of her beauty.

But, there's no one in this goddamn world worthy of her beauty. Not a single fucking person. Her beauty is too great to comprehend; too breathtaking to look at. And she's not just beautiful in appearance, either.

She's beautiful in every single way possible.

"Get a fucking grip, Calum," I scold myself, starting to feel choked up.

I pulled out my phone and logged onto Twitter, hoping that'd give me some sort of sanctuary of authority. Social media can be sickening, but it can sometimes be peaceful.

But logging onto Twitter was a wrong move for me at the moment.

There was some fucked up shit on my timeline.

"@/lukesmoon: holly is very pretty... and innocent. I hope Calum doesn't ruin her."

Ruin her? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

"@/maisegrey: @/Calum5SOS Holly's sooooo pretty but she deserves someone better than a fuckboy like you. sorry."

Fuckboy. Apparently, that's what I am.

"@/alwayslashton: tbh Holly's kinda dumb for dating an asshole like calum... love him but he's an idiot."

"Shut the fuck up," I whisper angrily before banging my fist on the sink countertop.

I hear Holly squeal from the other room and I try to stop myself from crying. If she hears me cry my dignity in her eyes will be ruined.

"Calum, are you okay?" I hear Holly's soft voice from the other side of the door. "I heard a loud noise coming from there."

Once I was sure that I wasn't going to burst into tears, I stood up and opened the door, revealing a concerned looking Holly, gazing up at me with her big, beautiful grey eyes that captivate you once you look into them.