If I Could Fly // c.t.h.

calum.

I was actually telling her. But it wasn't just anybody; it was Holly. Someone, I decided, who is special to me.

So I tell her the reason why. Why I've become that way that I am.

"I met her - Karina - at one of our concerts," I started. "She approached me and she was incredibly pretty. I know it sounds stupid, but I guess I fell in love right away. I was only seventeen at the time, and I convinced myself we were going to get married someday. We... We did things together. We never made our 'relationship' official, so I guess we were friends with benefits. I lost my virginity to her. But... It was all a fucking bet she made with her friends. I was just a bet. She had a boyfriend and I told her I was in love with her and she just... she just laughed and left. After that, me sleeping with random girls every night became a regular thing; I tried to fill a void she created."

Holly was silent, but she listened. And that was all I really needed. The world could explode right now but I wouldn't care because Holly was right next to me, listening to me.

"Calum-" Holly began to say.

"Don't say that you're sorry for me," I warned. "I don't want you to say I didn't deserve it, or that I was taken advantage of or that it'll get better one day. I just wanted you to know. That's all."

She nodded and took a deep breath. "Two years ago, I fell in love with this boy."

My hearted paced quickly in my chest. She was telling me her story.

Holly continued. "We were enemies at first - I met him through Shay, they were friends. He's in a band, and one time I went to his show. He... He wrote a song about me. He told me he was in love with me and... and we just got together. Our relationship would've lasted for two years until he left me for another girl. He was my first boyfriend. My first love. My first time. And he left me. Which made me believe that people don't change. No matter how much they say they love you, there's always going to be that small part of them that hates you."

I stared at her. I listened. I didn't say anything after that.

"You can't compare pain," Holly whispers. "Pain comes in different ways."

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Calum?" she spoke softly.

"Yeah?"

"I know you don't want to hear this," she said. "But... you really didn't deserve to be hurt like that. It doesn't justify the things you do today, but... you just didn't deserve it. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I smiled at her. "It's exactly what I needed to hear."

She looks away from me but I continue to stare at her. There's a breeze around us and she closes her eyes as it engulfs her. She leans her head back and it takes every single part of my damn body not to kiss her.

"Holly?" I whispered. "What was his name?"

She opens one eye, and then the other slowly as if something scary might pop out if she keeps them open for too long. "Landon."

"Landon," I repeated. "You'd know I'd beat his ass for breaking your heart, right?"

Holly laughed. "And you know I wouldn't be afraid to rip that girl's hair out if I got the chance, right?"

I grinned. "I can just imagine."

"Me too," she says. "So... about that void of yours..."

"It's not really a void anymore," I told her. "Someone's currently filling it."

-

We were driving back home, or to our hotel rather, but I drove slowly. I didn't want it to end. Even though I'm with Holly everyday now, I still want to spend every waking moment with her.