How to Save a Life (Niall Horan)

Chapter 22: Where Do I Go Now?

Ellie’s POV

“What’s the name of this song?” Niall asked as we shuffled through music on my iPod. It was the middle of the afternoon and the fifth day of my hospital stay, and that was including the two days I had been unconscious.

“If I Am. It’s by Nine Days.” I informed him, beginning to sing along. “It’s one of my favorites by them.” Niall nodded, tapping his finger against his leg to the beat.

So over the past few days Niall has been just as persistent as he said he would be. He only left when the nurses kicked him out or he had to go to the bathroom or something. Every now and again I’d force him to go get something to eat if one of the other boys weren’t there to bring him back something, but other than that he was always with me.

I was trying to be smart about this. He still lied to me. He could still be lying to me. But it was hard to believe that when he would talk to me so honestly, blue eyes sparkling with interest whenever I was speaking. Not to mention the little touches, gripping my hand or brushing his fingers over my arm or cheek. All of them would make my heart stutter and face warm up. And then every time he would leave he would say goodbye by saying “I love you”. He’d also say it at other times, whether it is just random or he’s going and getting all sentimental on me. I wish I could say that it was annoying and that I didn’t feel the same way and I wanted him to stop, but that was bullshit. I fucking loved it.

I was just falling harder instead of getting over him. The past few days of sitting here listening to music or talking or anything else... I loved it so much. I loved him.

But I still hadn’t said the three words back to him.

He seemed fine with it, not letting it slow down the compliments and his own will to continue saying it to me. There was no doubt I felt the same way, but I was still trying desperately to take things slower... not completely fall into his trap. But I already had.

Either way...

“I like this song.” He said bring me out of my thoughts.

“When will you learn that all of my music is good and you’re going to like all of it?” I asked a little smirk on my face. He smiled widely, obviously appreciating my sign of happiness. Any smile I gave him, he embraced. I obviously still was not the happiest person in the world. Despite the fact that he loved me and I knew I loved him, my family was still dead and I was still in the hospital.

So no, things were not all happy and dandy. I appreciated my smiles just as much as him, despite the mental kick I gave myself for letting my defenses slip. I don’t know why I was still trying to keep them up. I really should have given up by now. I was hopeless.

I sighed and just continued singing along to the song.

“So you’re walking on the edge,

 And you wait your turn to fall.

 But you're so far gone,

 That you don't see the hands upheld to catch you.