Tainted (Shaylor AU) (boyxboy)

16 [Selfish]

Chapter inspired by Heartbreak Girl by 5 Seconds of Summer!!

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My bottom lip quivers as I latch onto Luke's side. He's asked me what I refuse to stop crying about, but all I've been able to tell him is Taylor. Something tells me I shouldn't say anything about what I found in his jacket.

"Shawn, you have to tell me what happened."

"I-I can't."

He sighs heavily, continuing to run his large hands along my back. The fat tears continue to roll down my cheeks, but in reality, I don't know why I'm crying over this.

It's Taylor's life and his risk, but he brought
t-that stuff into my house. What was he going to do with it? Does that mean he does drugs? Does he sell them? What if he was trying to drug me? Non stop questions flow through my head and leave my body in the form of tears.

Next thing I know, Luke's pulling me onto his lap, allowing me to bury my head in his broad shoulder. His words are soothing and calm, but still prodding to know what left me in this state. I can't just tell him that I found drugs in the jacket pocket of the guy I'm in lo- have a crush on.

"Listen to me, you have to stop crying. Beautiful boys shouldn't cry." He whispers.

I squeeze my eyes shut, hopefully expelling my last tears. "More like people wearing makeup shouldn't cry."

When I pull away to look at Luke, I can feel the mascara running down my cheeks. He just smiles, causing me to chuckle a little bit.

"That's much better." I just sniffle. "You know what you need?"

"To drown in a puddle of my own tears?"

"Woah! I was gonna say cuddles and a movie..."

I giggle. "That works too."

It only takes us a few minutes to build our typical blanket fort, but it takes a bit longer to get everything we need inside it. Once everything is settled, I open up my laptop and pull up Netflix. Luke just looks over at me and smiles.

He never manages to stop mesmerizing me. Whether it's how perfectly the blue of his lip ring matches his eyes, or how he manages to read people perfectly, and know exactly what they're going to say, I always thought he was better than me. I always thought he'd be the one in this situation, with guy drama. But yet it's me.

I guess he's just focused on keeping his friendships...

"Lukey, do you love Ashton?"

"Of course I love him. He's one of my best friends."

I furrow my eyebrows, noting how Luke is avoiding eye contact. "No, I mean do you love love Ashton?"

That surely gets his attention, seeing as his bright blue eyes snap to meet mine. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. Sometimes when you look at him, you get really dazed. You stop focusing on anything else. And you get this stupidly adorable smile on your face that doesn't go away."

"That doesn't mean I'm in love with him, Shawn."

"But you are, aren't you?"

Once again, his gaze leaves mine. His teeth bring his bottom lip into his mouth, making the piercing no longer visible. The minute he opens his mouth, I know he's going to lie.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Luke."

He shakes his head wildly, almost as if he's trying to convince himself instead of me. "No. I don't love Ashton. We're friends. He's dating Calum. See? No lies."

I sigh, knowing he's not sure, but not wanting to press it anymore. Luke grabs my laptop from me and chooses a random movie, suddenly investing all of his attention in it.

"If you love him, it's okay." I whisper. "I won't be hurt."

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The ringing in my ears remains well after Luke and I leave the concert that night. My voice is gone, so I don't bother saying anything. I hope it's back for when I see Nicki Minaj tomorrow night. Luke is just guiding me to the train station wordlessly.

The sky is streaked with dark blue and purple, occasional stars twinkling and illuminating the night sky. My heels are starting to hurt my ankles from all the walking and standing. It just makes it worse that we're walking faster, being that this is the bad side of town.

We come up on Luke's and my favorite deli from when we were younger. It has the best sandwiches in the whole town. I stop Luke, gently tugging on his arm, and pointing at the window.

"Yeah." A huge smile grows on his face. "You remember when we used to come here after school? And our mums would get mad because they thought it wasn't safe?"

I nod, smiling widely as well.

"That was great." Luke breathes out.

I just nod again, agreeing with him, but wanting to continue our journey home, I pull him to start walking again. I peer down the alley next to the deli as we walk by, and my eyes widen as I see two figures making out. What shocks me most is that I recognize them both.

Calum's cheating on Ashton... With one of his friends.

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I spend the night at Luke's house, both of us cuddled into his bed. It used to be a lot more spacious when we were younger, but then the growth spurts hit. Yet, we still refuse to sleep anywhere but beside each other, no matter how cramped it is. In a hoarse voice, I slowly start to speak to him, wanting to trade late night secrets.

"I saw you," I whisper. "When you were talking to Ash. And you were crying. You said you loved him."

Luke sighs, his fingertips tracing circles onto my skin. "I did, I guess."

"You did what?"

"I did love him. I've loved him since freshman year. But now he has Calum, and I mean nothing."

"That's not true, Lukey. He loves you, maybe not in the same way that you love him, but he does."

A deep sigh once again. "I'm just sick and tired of seeing the ones I love getting hurt. Ash tells me that Calum refuses to be his boyfriend, his actual boyfriend. And I'm right here, when he's gonna realize..."

"What? That he shouldn't be with Calum?"

"Yeah I guess. I mean it happened with you too, always ranting about what Taylor did and didn't do. It would be so much easier if they weren't involved."

There's silence for a moment. One that should be comfortable, but is heavy, waiting for one of us to break it. Luke's breathing is starting to even out, hinting that he's falling asleep.

"Don't be selfish, Luke. Not everything ends in heartbreak."

A/N: Shorter chapter, I know. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to establish some relationships and history and feelings on both sides. BUT OMG ITS THE END OF 2015! Tainted only started in July, but you guys have made it a great year.

QOTD: Favorite 5sos song?

Love y'all: Summer