Too Shy To Tell You

4. Cabin Fever

4.
Cabin Fever

7 a.m.

A cold draft entered the room making me shiver, I had awakened from my short slumber. The sun rays peeking through the window, and I heard the loud birds chirp. My voice was groggy, as I stretched out from my cozy bed.

I'd usually never wake up at this time, but when I did it gave me the opportunity to let my mind clear off of things. I still had two hours to kill, so why not start getting ready now?

Carrying my large suitcase over to my bed, I took out a few of my essentials and my outfit for today, which was a loose white tee and dark washed jeans. For shoes, I went with my Stan Smith kicks that had green accents on the bordering. As I finished putting on my outfit, I immediately tidied up the bed and went straight into doing my hair. It was already messy as it was, so I just did a simple messy bun because I was lazy.

Heading downstairs, I had not forgotten to take my journal and pencil with me. Time for some inspirational writing, I said to myself.
Writing has always been a big impact in my life. On my 10th birthday my Nan gave me my very first journal, I was truly obsessed with it. At my old flat, we had a deck that over viewed the whole town. I would go out there every night when I felt the need of escaping life for a bit. Since then, it has always been tradition to me.

When I had gotten downstairs, it finally took me to realize how modern the place was. I sighed impressively, and walked to the outsides balcony. It over viewed many cabins and lakes as well. It was truly beautiful, everything was beautiful to me. As I took a seat, writing immediately took me away.

Looking at life differently.

I need a person who never stops showing me they love me. -unknown

Life in my perspective is bizarre.
We were born for a reason no one knows about, and simply end our journey when it is final. We were born for no purpose at all, but all we know is to be loved, or in fact hated.

In this world, it is a constant battle between love and hate. The majority chooses in between. Why do they do that?

Society is an endless circle of judgments, racism, body shaming, bullying. But I wish the contrary, I wish for love and appreciation.

That's what I want.

My point is, we were born to be back stabbed and hurt, but to also be admired. We should all give love a chance to see where it takes us.

Imagine a world without verbal fire storms, and wars. That would be amazing. But we shall also forgive those who have hurt us in the end, give love a chance. Everything deserves a chance. That's how I look at life differently. With chances. At first I thought that life would be simple with ambition, but it's not. Every negative emotion that you keep bottled up inside will lash out at some point. That's when you know you're broken. I found that out at the age of 13 when stress took me over. School, My dad cheating on my mom, Studying. Everything that comes to mind fucked me up. It's that kind of feeling when you cry endlessly like if it was never going to stop, it deprives you from eating, deprives you from living. And still to this day, I don't know how to cope with these feelings. I feel like I'm all on my own in this hell fire. All I want is to be loved, by someone who loves me as much. I want that feeling again. I want a chance for myself. I want people to realize that we're all hurting inside because of constant hatred in society. It is so easy to hurt others, yet harder to love them. We have to try and pull beneath our strengths to come up with a way to love.
Because in the end, we will all die. It will be too late to say the things you've wanted to say in the past. It will be too late to do the things that you've always wanted to do. It will be too late to accept yourself as a person. And it will be too late to love. By all means, love deserves a chance.