Too Shy To Tell You

10. New Feelings

A/N

I'm sorry if I take long to update.. I'm just really busy and a lot of things suddenly happened, so it's been kind of stressful for me lately.

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10.
New Feelings

Back to school... Once again.

The past two days have been difficult for me.
I've passed time by laying in bed, thinking about how my life would've been if I was back in England with my old friends and my family. Back to when my life wasn't as harsh as it was today, and back to when Christopher was still alive.

It gets harder and harder the more you grow up and the thought of it instantly broke my heart. I just wished that I was a 5 year old with absolutely no care in the world.

"Why the long face?" Kayla gripped my arm as I'm snapped out of my daze.

"Uhm, nothing... Let's go to class?" I suggested, trying to change the topic. My mind is crowded by the past and by depressive memories, it's almost as if my subconscious loves to remind me of them.

You know the saying, –Be grateful for your life, because at least you have one– well I found it completely false and degrading.

People live different lives and all have different stories. The fact that society is predicted to be a clone for all human beings to be the same makes me so angry. I know that the life I'm living is more fortunate than others and less fortunate than distinct individuals, but the fact that society likes to pinpoint different stories into comparing them to see who has the worst and best life is such a pain in the ass.

I feel like people need to understand that everyone's different and that everyone starts with a chapter. Every chapter is a new path to life and each of them are original in their own way.

To not judge someone's life is like saying "Don't judge a book by its cover."

Human beings live across that motto with such integrity and power but don't actually take it to heart.

You never know what someone could be hiding behind the mask that they wear almost every single day.

"It's good to see you back, Ms. Cools." Mr. Barnes, my history teacher said with glee.

I gave him a fake smile and sat down at an empty desk in front. Kayla decided to sit at a desk situated near the back since she claims that sitting far away from the teacher gives you a better opportunity to sleep and not get caught.

The class bell finally rang and many students started to pile into the classroom. They all sat in vacant spots, while I was too busy looking down at my notebook, wondering what we'd be learning today.

"Hey, is this spot taken?" I turn back to see who has caught my attention and it ended up being Brendan Autumns. The cute blonde boy from the party.

"No, go ahead." I give him a pity smile as he sits down at the desk beside mine.

Please don't talk to me. I hoped.

"So, how was the rest of your trip?" He initiated a conversation, making my level of anxiety rise up to its highest point.

Ugh, shoot.

"Uh, well it was good I guess." I said reluctantly.

"Oh, that's cool." He grinned, as his grey eyes lock in contact with mines, making my stomach burn with mixed feelings.

Don't get me wrong, Brendan is pretty good looking and has such an incredible personality. I wouldn't mind going on a date with him and I'm not afraid to admit it. It's just that right now, boys should be at the end of my list.