WHEN I ASKED WHY

( Chapter 21 )

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Restaurant receipts, account numbers, telephone bills, doctor check ups. These are all in one of the files given to me and it's driving me crazy.  A four thousand bill for eating at the richest, finest restaurant in Japan, a doctor's fee of five thousand for medicine, a cashed cheque of ten thousand. I mean, this guy is freaking rich! With all these arranged fights that he does, his clients probably bet on these and he gets the money for it, like how cruel could you be. He's putting these men to fight for slaughter. It all just seems so unbelievable.

These telephone numbers are once used and then gone. No trace of him using the same number again. It's every week another number. But why a week? I flip the other paper stapled on the due bills and see the dates arranged in chronological order. There stands the date, the number used for the week, the person in charge of the calls and the person whom they are calling. It also shows the time and location of the people arranging the calls and on the other side of the phone as well. This makes it easier to track the ones who fail to do as ask. If a worker decides he doesn't want to work for Clayton anymore and call the police, his number, personal information will be seen, so fraud will be difficult. Even though,  this is fraud, he still would be caught. 

I flip another page and see the dates from the beginning of the year. All in these papers. I take my yellow highlighter and highlight the ones important to track him. I don't take notice of the time and continue working. I hear a slight creek from the door and stop everything I'm doing. I slowly grab a pocket knife from under the table and hold It firmly on my hand. No ways im going to let anyone disturb me, police or not.

When the sound of the door opened, i see a man's shadow. A big built shadow walking inside slowly. It comes closer and closer and finally it comes. I hold the pocket knife at an angle to cut and swing it at shadow of this person when suddenly it screams pain. I look at the person closely and see, it's James. He has a massive blanket over his body, prepared to sleep.

"Ouch! Fuck! What the hell?" He grabs his arm.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-I thought you were a-an intruder.  I'm really sorry." I gently place my trembling hands over his cut trying to stop the bleeding. I bite my lip out of nervousness. I have no idea what to do.

"An intruder?  Mind you, this is where I live." He looks down at his cut availing himself that it doesn't hurt, but I could see in his eyes it does.

"Yeah, uh. I panicked. I'm so sorry. "

"Whatever. Just go to my room, you'll find a first aid kit. Under all the drawers on your right. Get it."

"Okay, okay. " I run to his room and do as told. I come back with a small case with a cross on it. I open it and search for something to stop the bleeding. He's laying on the ground of the door from his room to the kitchen, where I was. But i don't know what to do, what do i get?

"Okay, now what do I do?" I ask him, his confused face looking back at me.

"I thought you know how to fix this?" His jaw down, mouth open. I look at his cut again and see that it's very deep. Gosh, I'm not a doctor, i don't know what to do.

"Does it look like I have a doctor's degree? " I start to look for a needle and a thread-like thing to stitch it up. I find one bottled medicine and a cotton. I place it on each other and press it gently on his arm.

"Fuck! That hurts! "

"Cry, it'll help." I tell him.

"Are you crazy? Just finish up. " He inhales and exhales very fast and looks up to the roof, pushing his hair aside. I take the needle I found and the thread already attached to it and hold it closely, then slowly.

"Stop! What are you doing? You can't stitch it up? "

"James, the cut is too deep, i have to! " even though i have no idea how to. Oh my this is my fault. I do remember playing do ter with my dolls and every time they get cuts, i stitch it up. At least that's what I think.

"Can't you just band-aid it?" He says scared.

"Wow, like that'll help." I say sarcastically.

"Okay then, just go gently." He looks away unable to cope the pain when i press the needle to his skin and continue stitching in even ways. He holds his pain and I see his hands, shaking. When I finish, I tie it into a knot and cut the left over string. I wipe the remaining blood away and sigh that it's over.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'm fine. " He then let's out a heavy sigh. I sit beside him, my back against the wall. Relieved and surprised I actually stiched a man.

" I'm sorry. I am, really. " I look over at him, on my left. He's just facing the ground. "Here, let me cover it for you." I take one of those long white things and turn it over and over on his cut until it comes to an end. I place the ends on the other and keep it there. There becomes this awkward silence between us. I can't help it. I'm not those silent types. I can't help seeing someone go through something and pretend it's okay.

"I'm s- "

"Don't say your sorry again, it will start to loose it's effect." He barges in.

"What?" I say.

" You say sorry too many times. Just now it'll loose it's meaning. " He says. It kept me thinking of all the times I've said something too many times.

"Okay then. " I cross my legs and sit beside him silently.

~~~~~

"You know, when Dan told me he met a girl at school I was like 'Shit, really?' He told me you were different and you were weird or something like that. But there was one thing he was certain of when he told me about you. He told me you were special. " I take a sip of my wine and sigh to hear that. I was actually rude to him the day we met. I just hated everyone.

"I bet that's a lie." I scoff.

"Nah, he said something between the lines of 'I think she's funny and she's special.' " He drinks his beer.

"Well, I'm not so sure." I tell him.

"Don't ask me, I don't even know you. One time... " It hasn't occurred to me that we are actually doing this. We are leaving the safe place ready to take on the world. The very scary, humongous, cruel world filled with secrets and problems. It feels like some baby taking his first steps but falling the Instant he stands up. I'm not ready. I'll never will, but I have to try. I have a purpose.

"Yo hoo? Anyone there? " His voice trails me back.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to I was jus- "

"There you go again. Fuck, stop saying sorry."

"Well. I just can't help it. I cut you and ignored you so I'm apologising. " I honestly say. I couldn't bother him looking at me. More like atari get at me now.

"Carrie, you seem like an overprotective girl but really... you're just as soft and gentle as a puppy. "

I laughed to that. He was different from what I've concluded. I've always thought differently because of first impressions.

"So, I see you cracking up those papers." He points to the table I was working on  earlier. I just realised that I wasn't working anymore, that I had gotten distracted. I spring up and walk back to the table, fixing all the papers and separating them, trying to work again. "Let me help you. " He says.

I look up at him taking his last sip of beer and pulling a chair to sit. "Tell me what I need to know. "

I smile to that and start to tell him everything, I felt like a machine. It felt like I could go on and on even without power. Then the night went on like this. Some wine and paper work. You could say it ended peacefully. A night filled with conversation and understanding.