What Is Holding Me Here

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His words entrance me,

And I can't help,

But want to listen to his voice all day,

And to feel his hand grasping mine,

So that I know he is still here,

And neither of us are very willing,

To give up how perfect this is,

So when I put those words and pictures,  

In the mail,

I feel guilty,

Because despite how confident I am,

That I will get rejected,

I know,

I'm still going behind his back,

And throwing our future,

Together,

Away,

But I can't help but wonder what I would have,

The capability to do,

If the words my family said,

About great things ahead,

Rang true,

And so,

Through the pain it causes me,

I follow my heart,

And enter the paper into the box,

That will send it somewhere,

Far away,

Where my future,

Will ultimately be decided,

By strangers who won't consider,

For one moment,

Everything,

That is holding me here.

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