I Tried So Hard (Kellic)

I Tried So Hard- Chapter 19

                Sitting outside on my family’s back porch watching the scenery, drinking some coffee, just relaxing; I can honestly say this is what I needed. As soon as I got home, to my actual home with my family I felt better. It felt as if I escaped everything; the heartache, the pain, the sadness, the drama and now I can just be home with my family relaxing having fun like we did before I left. I’ve been home for about four days now and I haven’t talked to anyone back in San Diego. My family has been asking a lot of questions about how’s my life going there but I’ve been being pretty vague about the whole situation and putting the questions back on them asking how things have been here. The more time I spend here and the more time I spend with my family and old friends sharing laughs and stuff, it just makes me so happy. I don’t have to deal with everything that’s going on back in San Diego.  I haven’t cried once since I’ve been home because I’ve told myself that everything is alright and none of that stuff happened so I could be happy and not be depressed again. I hate being depressed so lying to myself seems to be working and being home is working too. I told my family last night at dinner that I’m moving back home and going to school down here and they were totally fine with it. When they asked why I decided this I told them I was feeling homesick and missed them so much. It wasn’t a complete lie I did miss them but that wasn’t the only reason I was coming back.

                I finished the rest of my coffee then got dress to begin my drive back to campus to withdrawal from school and pack up my things to come home. My dad was letting me take his truck so I wouldn’t have to make multiple trips. I spent the first day driving back to school just listening to random rock stations and when night time came around I would sing them really loud since there weren’t that many people on the roads. I decided that I wasn’t going to sleep until I got back to the school. I would take a little nap when I got there then wake up and start to pack. I was so fucking tired and I had about 3 more hours until I got to the campus and when you’re tired 3 hours will seem like 3 days.

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“Dude, you’re back!” I felt say with excitement while the shook me. I rolled over to see Matty standing beside my bed.

“Yeah, I came back to get my stuff.” I said with a groggy tone in my voice.

“What? Why?” he went from being happy to looking upset.

“Because I’ve decided to go home.” I sat up, sliding to the edge of the bed.

“Why?”

“You know why Matty. We’re still gonna be friends, nothings gonna change that, I’ll just be in Michigan. I’ll keep in touch.” I rubbed my eyes still trying to wake up fully. When I looked back up Matty wasn’t in front of me anymore and then I heard the door slam. I didn’t want him to be upset but I have to do what’s best for me and I don’t want to be sitting here depressed and slowly losing my mind because I have to see my ex-boyfriend every day. I began to pack up my things, little by little. About an hour and a half into packing I started to get a little hungry, Matty hadn’t been back yet, I was waiting for him to come back so we could go get something to eat and talk a little but I guess that’s not gonna happen. I went through my dresser looking for my cafeteria card but couldn’t find it so I decided to go to the diner nearby. I got there and nobody was there, as I was expecting, no one is ever here. A young lady seated me and I looked through the menu until she came back. It was about 10 minutes before she actually came back. I gave her my order then put in my headphones waiting for my food to come. Once she finally came back about 30 minutes later I was starving. She handed me the food and all of a sudden someone walked past her and sat down across from me. I looked and saw it was Vic.

“Talked to Matty, he told me you were going home.” He said with this serious look on his face, jumping right into conversation. No hello or nothing.