Tell Me A Lie

Chapter 11

"So, what were you doing yesterday?" Jai asked nonchalantly.

I looked at Jai who wasn't looking at me. Instead, his eyes wandered around the field in front of us absently. Frowning, I wondered what was going on.

"I was just hanging out with Jared," I replied casually.

"Jared." Jai seemed to stiffen. "What is he to you?"

"Jared?" My eyes widened.

The topic at hand was a topic that was odd. It also made me uncomfortable because Jared was just some guy I happened to talk to. Jai's question made it seem like Jared was a big part of my life, which made me nervous. I preferred to keep people in the dark when it came to my life, and that was where Jared would always be.

"He's just some guy," I replied after a bit. "That's nice to talk to."

"I thought you don't let people in because you're fucked up?" Jai asked. "Why'd you let him in?"

I just stared at Jai for a bit, frowning. A heavy silence surrounded us and I wouldn't break it until he looked at me. The way his eyes wandered around the field absently made me worry.

Finally, Jai did look at me. He looked at me with sad eyes and my heart dropped. I didn't understand what was going on.

"Yeah... I'm not befriending him," I said as my eyes locked with Jai's. "We just talk and... Why do you keep bringing him up? What's going on Jai?"

Jai looked away and I watched as his body tense. I fought off the urge to massage his arm as his jaw clenched. He looked uneasy and a part of me wondered what about Jared made him this way. Nowadays, this topic had been making him like this and I didn't know why.

But honestly, I felt something deep within my heart unhinge as I stared at him. I felt something start to bloom from that part of my heart, and there was no stopping it, even though I didn't understand it. It was just he was acting in a way that had my heart fluttering.

"Jai..." I began nervously. "Are you jealous?"

He scoffed, but I noticed his ears were reddening. I myself blushed, surprised by his reaction. That feeling inside me kept blooming, and I tried to stop it. Nothing good could come from it.

"Scarlett." Jai suddenly whipped his head to look at me, his eyes wide. "Don't ask such... Embarrassing questions."

His face was bright red and my heart skipped a beat. As I stared st him, that feeling that was growing inside of me fully bloomed. Hope was what that feeling was and now I had it. I had it and I didn't understand why.

For some reason, the thought of Jai being jealous made me happy. Really happy actually, which left me looking away in my own embarrassment. I didn't know why I felt hope. I didn't know what for either.

Shaking my head, I reminded myself that hope was the worst thing to have. It never ended well. It only left you shattered and as a broken person, that was the last thing you needed.

*****

I stepped into my house, trying to listen to the sounds of my parents. Hearing the tv playing, I groaned. One of my parents were home. I didn't need that right now.

On my tippy toes, I ran upstairs. The stairs was next to the living room, so I glanced there as I wondered which one of my parents were home. Seeing that no one was seated around the tv, I frowned. My parents weren't the type to leave the tv on for no reason.

Ignoring that, I rushed upstairs and to my room. The hallway were silent so I hoped my parents weren't home. Thinking maybe they just left the tv on for no reason, I found myself relaxing as I barged into my room.

For the millionth time, I knew better than to hope for something. As my eyes went wide, my heart dropped at the sight of my room. It was a wreck. A total wreck and I didn't know how.

Papers were scattered all over the place, covering the ground almost completely. On top of the papers were a few of my items such as jewellery, makeup, clothes, and pencils. My drawers and my closet doors lay open, and I took in how the place looked like it had been mugged. I might have though it had been if I didn't see my dad lying on my bed.

My chest tightened as I looked around once more. I tried to feel nothing as I stepped into my room, walking carefully to the centre to it. With my eyes glued to the ground, I spotted a golden notebook laying at the centre of the room. Seeing that, my throat constricted.

Falling to my knees, I picked up the notebook that had been ripped in half. With my eyes wide with fear, I looked through the notebook and realized many of the pages had been torn out of it. That explained all of the paper lying around.

I kept flipping through the ruined notebook, wondering if this was real. If the one of the last things that mattered to me was now ruined. Knowing how my life worked, I realized it had to be true. Life only went downhill for me.

Taking a shaky breath, I couldn't believe my journal was ruined. I hadn't written in it for years, but it held so many memories in it. Small memories that kept me sane. I couldn't believe it was gone in a heartbeat. It was shocking, but then I reminded myself that that was how cruel this world was.

Getting up, I threw the notebook onto the ground. My hands clenched into fists, and I glared at my dad who slept peacefully on my bed. I hated him. This was all his fault.

Scowling, I took a step towards my bed. I glared at my dad who for the first time, looked like a normal human being. He didn't look like the evil, drunkard, bastard he was as he slept peacefully. That only made me more mad.

Walking up to his side, I found myself fighting off the urge to hit him. To punch him in his stupid face. He had wrecked my room. He had destroyed something valuable to me. My dad deserved hell for everything he had done to me.

My hand reached out for him and suddenly I wanted to grab his throat. I wanted to suffocate him with my hands and watch him suffer. Just like I did my whole life, I wanted to show him what it was like to suffer. That would be the only way I would feel at peace.

Realizing what I was thinking, I stepped back quickly. My face paled at the horrible thoughts I had, and I turned around quickly, not wanting to see his hideous face anymore.

Not for the first time, I felt like a freak. I felt inhuman and I shot him the death glare, knowing it was his fault. He made me who I was today, and I hated it. I hated it and everything about my life.